meta (bi discourse & subtoot)
To avoid hurting folks, we hold ourselves to one short rule. It's particularly applicable in situations like this:
don't define words for other people.
There's a difference between expressing discomfort at something & telling folks that they aren't who they say they are. One sure-fire way to know where the line is, is when you start looking up etymology to tell other people they don't know what they mean by the word they're using.