venty, system status wondering, long text
since opening up to my therapist about our switches, idk honestly. i have no clue anymore.
the words i used to describe us... i directly called us alter egos. now i don't know anymore, because that seems so likely but also far from it. the others are almost TOO different from me, having pseudo-memories and all.
i've been using plural terms since age 14. the others formed at that time (expect Ryou who I don't know about. maybe age 10?), therefore i'm not DID nor OSDD.
we don't have switch amnesia at all.
i do have daily amnesia and dissociation. to the point it dangers me sometimes.
when a switch happens, i feel like i'm not myself very strongly, dysmorphic almost, i feel very different.
feels like we're somewhere between 'me' and 'us'. it's hard. i don't know what is going on with me and i will probably never know.
it feels good to open up though.