Do you feel pride in being trans?

For cis ppl. Do you feel pride in being cis?

Asking this also a bit because i am interested more in learning about pride flags. And how people feel about pride and gender.

@wonderland do you mean for just being trans/cis or to be who I am despite social norms/pressure?

@wonderland TBH, I don't care. CIS, trans, queer, you name it… We are all humans. Some of them are fine people, others are assholes.

@wonderland that's pretty much the topic your polls made me think of :) I answered no to the trans one (and didn't answer the cis one) and I was a little unsure about that because so often it's "either you're proud or you're ashamed". But that's not what it's like for me at all, it's like... saying I'm trans is a kind of positioning for me that is connected to some facts of my life, but doesn't automatically follow from them, it's just where I choose to put myself. And I'm happy about a lot of those facts. I'm proud of a few things connected to those facts. But... I'm not proud to be trans, it's just a word that I use and not something that's much about me or my achievements. I will proudly call myself trans, sometimes, if that makes sense? But that's when spite is involved, and then I'm usually proud of my existence despite assholes, not of being trans, actually.

@wonderland Answered both. Long answer: I feel that I'm both transgender and cisgender (without being bigender- gender is complicated sometimes and I don't feel like elaborating beyond "transmasc doesn't always mean someone is a man"). I definitely do feel pride in being trans because I've had to fight to earn every snippet of self-expression. It's a process that I've fought tooth and nail for. Just being myself and claiming my body is an achievement.

@wonderland I don't feel that same pride in also being cis. I don't know if it's the lack of effort in achieving it, the way gender is treated by a lot of trans folks ("down with cis" rhetoric), the societal gendered power imbalance, or some other factor, but it's not something I feel very proud of. There's a tiny bit of pride that I'm trying to reclaim now that I'm letting myself accept that aspect of myself, but I'm actually more ashamed of it than any other feeling.

@wonderland I think a lot of that shame comes down to the expectation that if you're transitioning, then your birth gender is inherently wrong. Transitioning showed me that my birth gender wasn't entirely wrong, funnily enough. I'm not a trans man. Hormones and surgery were the right move to correct dysphoria, but I'm learning that my body and my gender are two entirely different things. I don't fit neatly into the categories that I'm expected to choose between. I'm on the cusp.

Plurality and Gender Weirdness, Touches Ableism/Sysmeds a little 

@wonderland *Stares in plural*

Any sort of cis-ness we have is inherently queered by sharing a body with other people.

This is even ignoring the fact that some of us would technically be trans, but consider ourselves cis because of multiverse stuff, inner-world/headapace stuff, and other factors we can't think of off the top of our head at the moment.

We guess this would make us Genderqueer, even for our cis folks? But nor all of us feel this way.

We have pride in our plurality which means we should have pride in every other aspect how we exist. Every point of existence that is also very explicitly endogenic systemhood is a gigantic "fuck you" to plurphobes (yes, even the other ableist/anti-endo systems, who often use queerphobic arguments about the -med suffix being trans-only)

We're not sure how else to explain this at the moment, but, like, hopefully this helps???

Plurality and Gender Weirdness, Touches Ableism/Sysmeds a little 

@wonderland Like, the privilege is still there and something we should be aware of, but it hits a little different when it's "fictive of Blue Exorcist from the multiverse, who was born a man, changed his name to Christa, changed her way of dress and got herself plopped into a different universe where she is now a woman without the transition she would have made before, and now struggles to balance these to contradictory sets of memories/memory and emotional fragments" and really, we, well, some of us at least, feel like cis and trans is just another new binary we can't seem to get over societally/socially.

Lots of Pride events (and Queer stuff in general) just doesn't make room for the crazies, and it shows.

We even made a birdsite thread on that awhile back, which we might try to find and transplant here on Masto tbqh.

@wonderland Why should I? It is no achievement of mine. I feel okay with it.

@wonderland Haven't actually thought about it too in-depth before, but now that I think about it the answer is more neutral? I feel proud for surviving in the face of a transphobic society, but what choice did I really have but to keep being who I am? I'd have done it anyway regardless. I feel pride in how we as a community have come in fighting for our rights, but that's not really personal pride and just pride for what we've accomplished as a collective. Being trans is just who I am and not something I see as too special, even though I do my HRT every day and am in a system that needs to out themselves to have they/them pronouns I don't really think regularly about it

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Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.