I finally added my profile pic! It's the same as my avatar on @winter
"The beauty of anti-racism is that you don't have to pretend to be free of racism to be an anti-racist. Anti-racism is the commitment to fight racism wherever you find it, including in yourself. And it's the only way forward."
~Ijeoma Oluo on birdsite, inspired by Ibram X. Kendi, author of How To Be an Antiracist
re: biracial trauma processing, pro-antihumanism, furries, antiBlackness discussion
To be clear, because I wasn't able to be clear in the top post:
I do not think furry identity being mediated by trauma means that furry identity is bad or needs to be eliminated. ALL identity is mediated through trauma, and in our current context mediated thru racist trauma as well.
Being a furry doesn't heal me of my suffering or exonerate me from how I have made others suffer. But NOT being a furry doesn't heal or exonerate me either! Anti-furry stigma is not progressive given that Black furries exist!
Being a furry doesn't need to be a perfect state of being in order to deserve to exist. You don't need to be a "perfect" person in order to contribute to the fight against white supremacy.
biracial trauma processing, pro-antihumanism, furries, antiBlackness discussion
My identification with nonhuman animals like cats is mediated by my avoidance of the white human construct of race - both how it oppresses me and how I am complicit in it.
Orlando Patterson (a Black man) and Zygmunt Bauman have written about "social death", how Black enslaved people under American chattel slavery were paradoxically treated like they were dead while their bodies still lived. Calvin Warren (also Black) has written about how whiteness defines its own humanity in contrast to Blackness, which is defined as quintessentially nonhuman and antihuman.
Social dynamics can be perceived preverbally. As a light-skinned white/Asian autistic person, who has some humanity granted to me at the cost of antiBlack violence towards others, I personally reject being human.
At the same time, recoiling in horror from my humanity does not materially end white supremacy. There is still work to be done.
Wonder how much it would cost to do a libcom/IWW mailshot, for that matter?
I just realized in the past here I *have* tried to name my alters. It... sorta works? Some aspects of me can be named, but the names feel imperfect and inherently insufficient to describe my subjectivity.
Taking cannabis was what made me realize I'm not totally singlet. The first time I took it I uncovered my most anxious, terrified selves, but I didn't know that was what was happening and I was scared.
Later stoner sessions I realized I could make new associations and focus on my happier, more creative selves, and comfort the scared ones.
I don't know if I'm a multiple or more of a median. I don't have exact distinct alters with names. They seem to be a non-modular overlapping system.
cw abuse, hyperempathy, mental health
I've discovered that I refuse to have affective empathy for people who are abusing me specifically.
I am a big believer in having compassion for all human beings, including people who are abusive, because abuse is contextual. We are all capable of being abusive. Most of us have been abused and abused others, even if in "small" ways like verbal abuse.
I am capable of imaginatively understanding where people who hurt me are coming from once I have some distance from them. My mom for instance is often a cool and nice person, she is under a lot of stress, and I know she loves me...
...But when she's yelling at me that I'm a coddled brat and I'm lucky that she doesn't kick me out of the house, I don't really care about her feelings. I can't. I can't empathize with the hate and contempt she's directing at me.
I am frustrated that people like my therapists (who incidentally have power over me) think my protecting myself this way makes me "mean". :/
Also I'm having the slight frustration that if I can't PERFECTLY name my alters I feel like they're not real, even if I definitely have dissociative/splitting issues. sIGH.
Sorry that I'm not on this instance very much. I think I'd like to come back and do more furryblogging or genderblogging, but discovering how my biracial but white-passing body affects how I engage with the intersections of nonwhiteness and furry culture or nonwhiteness and gender has been keeping me busy.
Some kind of multiple.
Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.