Show newer

I feel like a nu-age suburban mom or something making a tea today out of stinging nettle. Supposedly an 'infusion' but that sounds so suspect to me, haha. Idk if it's worth anything really, but doesn't taste bad. Just earthy.
🦁

lb is so real it hurts........ i want to be Chill and Mysterious but I gotta be like which terrible facet of my life and/or brain shall we discuss today!!!
🦁​

Hartstead boosted

im trying to become a private person!!!! someone who keeps their mouth shut!!!

Hartstead boosted

hi my gender is nervous and my pronouns are "uhhhh/okay/thanks"

:ms_8_asterisk:​ Rai got upset about the heat and then slept for 9 hours today. now I'm up at 3am trying to figure out how to manage being awake and getting in a nap before work. It was only like 20 today. It's gonna be a rough summer.

Hartstead boosted

enjoy this Russian meme that I think basically translates to “sight of cat, grace of potat”, every time I look at it it gets a bit funnier

Tomas semi-fronted last night a little unexpectedly. To pine after a boat.

We had a bit of a heart-to-heart about his uh? Source? And how he had wanted to leave a part of himself behind in this country, but didn't expect it to be like this.

I think he's disappointed, tbh. I hope I can take him to the marina soon and he'll feel better.

It sucks though, like I wasn't already overwhelmed with guilt/shame for having a factive in the first place. Now I have to feel guilty that I'm not the kind of person he wanted.
🦁

Hartstead boosted

Being a person involves too many choices don't like it not good

-egg

I have a training thing I'm attending tomorrow, except I have a sneaking suspicion I'm not attending it.

There's a frantic excitement about it that feels like Storm.

Soooooo we'll see how that plays out. I don't WANT to be there anyway, the trainer is an asshole. we've had a course from him before.

It was a "productivity and time management" course and he spent most of it connecting time management to money, promoting his financial services, and talking about his rich friends.

He asked us how much something to do with selling a house was, and refused to believe that none of the 20 of us in the room knew. Clearly we all play the property market like he does!!

Also told us we were robbing taxpayers by not napping at work.

So I'd rather not be there. But Storm is such a fucking handful. do I want him to be there??

🦁​

Self harm mention, but humorous 

She asked about it again so I had to double down on my absolutely ridiculous lie.

Yep. I fell. On what? Uh. You know, around. It was a couple months ago, I'm not sure. No, I don't fall often. But that definitely was one.

At this point I think she knows it's a lie... So maybe.... Don't ask.

I'm honest about it for the most part with people, but my boss is not one of those people. Past stuff is fine, but no current stuff that could theoretically be impacting my job. Because capitalism.

Show thread

Self harm mention, but humorous 

Asdfggjjllyyt God it's been so long since anyone bothered to ask about my self harm I forgot how to lie about it!!!

Like. I have very obvious marks all over my arms and don't try to hide them. Their precise nature makes it clear what they are, and in general people don't ask.

But I have some ~2 month old scars on my upper arms that caught my boss's notice today.

"what happened to your arm?"
"....................... I fell?"

I fell. I FELL. I fell?? Really? That was the best I could scrounge up?

I fell.

Marvelous.

🦁

but .... it was very wholesome because the image I got immediately in my head was me stroking Rory's lil head comfortingly, and then......... Skyler stroking my head asdfajshk

Cute, but unexpected.
🦁​

Show thread

Didn't tell the therapist about the system, but at one point she was talking about (from a very metaphorical perspective) "Cloning yourself to walk beside yourself and comfort you" and I'm just like pls no we have enough well-meaning protectors, no more pls.

nsfw implied 

and apparently Pepper fronted last night. *scratches out the "hasn't fronted in a long time notice*

thankful it was a cold, dreary weekday becaaaaause she was absolutely messaging people trying to hook up. Pls. I woke up to a lot of messages.

if I tell my therapist tomorrow i'm engaging in risky sex habits it's going to be 200x harder to convince her I'm not bipolar.

(nothing wrong with being bipolar obvs, it's just what I got diagnosed with back in college and it refuses to leave my records even though I 100% don't have manic episodes)
🦁​

Show thread

Storm fronted and interacted with people today for the first time in a long time and WOW is he BAD AT PEOPLE.

He's just rude and overly direct and just like. Left work to eat tacos by himself. Asshole.
🦁​

therapy, sui mention 

I have my first real actual voluntary therapy session tomorrow.

I feel. Nervous. very nervous.

Last time we went to therapy, it was not by choice, and it led to the implosion of the system.

I'm not going back there. I dunno, I feel very fake a lot of the time but I feel scared thinking of being alone like that again.

I don't even have to tell this therapist about ~us~

It's just brief intervention crisis counseling stuff because I told my doctor I left a suicide note in my files at work.

I would like it to lead to proper more thorough therapy. But to start with it's just weh I'm sad and overwhelmed.

so there's not really any danger to us. but I'm still nervous. What if they're not a good therapist, what if they don't get gender stuff, what if it makes everything worse, what if they say I have to stop working

it'll be fine. probably.

When I'm not fronting: cats are okay but I don't know why we go wild for them...

When I'm fronting: my entire right side is in buzzing agony but if I move the cat might leave

:ms_8_asterisk:

depression meme 2: electric boogaloo 

I made another meme because lesson 2 told me to use a "thought monitoring form" but it's not IN the downloadable resources, and all the generic ones I find online aren't Exactly The Same and I'm Upset 🙃​

which would be a great thing to record in a thought monitoring form

IF I HAD ONE.

Show thread
Show older
Plural Café

Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.