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Re-doing our AGAIN because of the name change.

We're Hartstead.

hartstead.carrd.co/ for up-to-date details and more info.

The primary front is Rai 🦁​, they are nonbinary, married to a singlet. Likes lions and video games.

Skyler :ms_8_asterisk:​​ is a common fronter, helps with protection and emotions. He's fond of computers, coding, EDM, and video games.

Storm 🌩️​ has been getting more comfortable with front, so you may see him around. High-energy dragon-person with an affinity for... storms. He likes bottle caps, spicy food, and cats.

Rory :ms_lion_without_mane:​​ is a mostly non-verbal little, possibly a literal lion cub. They communicate mostly in noises or pictures when fronting. They like to sleep and eat creamy things.

There are others who rarely front, but you may hear mention of them. Pepper, Stone, The Twins, and probably some others.

Pepper fronted for the first time in a long time sometime last week. Just to like, stroke our shoulder gently and cradle us to sleep. It was very soothing. 🦁​

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This just in: cats are perfect. They are literally the most perfect beings in existence.

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You ever just feel Soft about your brain roommates?

My Rai impression was garbage today. Two different people asked where we're from and several others asked if we were okay. Oops.
:ms_8_asterisk:

I really should have guessed an exhibition on Van Gogh would be triggering but I am a simple fool.
🦁

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Rai wanted to go to an art exhibition but dissociated out within the first 2 minutes and I'm here now. It was like an hour. Inconvenient.
:ms_8_asterisk:

I'm so mad. I invented a persona at my old job to try to survive there and now that This job is getting hard, I think she's come back but. not as pretend persona anymore, a separate person.
I'm lowkey hoping not and I've misunderstood some signs but I just feel ridiculous because she's an intentional creation and that's not how we've ever functioned before. Not that it's bad or wrong, just very different for us. and there's a little bit of feeling like I got myself into this mess by intentionally inventing her.

Also her name is the body's name backward so she'll need some kind of online handle so she doesn't dox us, if she does turn out to exist and want to talk to people and stuff.

just 🙃​ feelings

🦁​

it came up organically somehow. so that's cool. it's weird having another person know about us. But nice.
🦁​

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Google how do I decide when to tell my coworker/friend about us.

Work is about to get incredibly stressful and I'm already spending less time at front. I can't decide whether to leave it til something Happens and he needs and explanation or to be more proactive.

(jk I don't use Google)

🦁

Front has just been a revolving door of Rai/Skyler/Rai/Skyler for days but it does mean I've often found myself listening to Skyler's music playlist, and boy does he have some bangers on there.
🦁

Stop developing crushes on everyone Rai works with challenge
:ms_8_asterisk:

Having weird and sad feelings about not having a history or a family. I showed up here and that's where I begin. I'm really attached to a song right now that references parents and I just can't put a feeling in that void. It's not like I'm an orphan, I just don't have anything there.
:ms_8_asterisk:

Hartstead boosted

Today's gender is bravery and the sound of waves crashing.

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re: negative, meds talk 

The past two days with no meds have been debilitating. But I found out the pills I thought were my smallest dose have two pills inside them!! So I have another step down I can go instead of 75 to 0 haha. So back on the meds again for another week or two. Relieved tbh, I didnt expect it to be this bad, and I couldnt have gone to work tomorrow like this.

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Hartstead boosted

An inquiry into why things are happening so much and whether anything can be done to stop them

re: negative, meds talk, doctor talk, continued 

i want to talk a little bit more about trying to go to this other doctor because it was so fucked up

my previous doctor was a half hour drive away and i wanted to go to a new place anyway, so i thought my doctor moving was actually a hidden good thing

this new place was a 3 minute drive from my house, and people had said they're really good for trans folks. I'm not really Trans tm, I'm vaguely under the umbrella, but I don't have any trans-specific medical needs. but i thought the environment of a trans accepting place would be nice. Plus they were cheaper too. Bonuses all around.

So I checked their website, and they had zero enrollment information. Annoying, but whatever. i picked a day to go to the clinic and enrol in person.

When I went, there were a bunch of people in the waiting room. I wasn't in any rush so I sat to the side to wait for a lull to talk to the receptionist.

They spot me and call out to me to ask what I need anyway, and I say I want to enrol. They got a bit icy and asked where I lived. I told them and they went to the back to look at a map. They came out and announced that I wasn't in their zone, and told me to go back to my suburb.

I was 3 minutes from home. It was bizarre. The whole waiting room was staring at me. Other people were waiting around to talk to the receptionist, and annoyed I was holding things up. I tried to say something about trying to see a specific doctor, for specific needs. The receptionist gave me a very strained smile and just said "Cheerio" and waved me away.

I didn't want to out myself or anyone else by talking loudly about trans health in the middle of a packed lobby, so I just left and cried in my car.

I emailed the clinic after, relating the experience and asking that they mention on their website that they have a small, restrictive enrolment area so that no one else had to do this.

The manager emailed me back almost immediately, telling me that their area was actually very large, and since I was specifically interested in trans health they would take me. But at that point, I felt so freaked out about the experience I didn't want to go back. Plus, since I didn't have any specific needs in terms of hormones and such, I didn't want to take the spot of another trans person who needed it more.

So I just never replied, and now I don't have a doctor.

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