Hartstead @thepride@plural.cafe

Re-doing our #introductions AGAIN because of the name change.

We're Hartstead.

https://hartstead.carrd.co/ for up-to-date details and more info.

The primary front is Rai 🦁​, they are nonbinary, married to a singlet. Likes lions and video games.

Skyler ​​ is a common fronter, helps with protection and emotions. He's fond of computers, coding, EDM, and video games.

Storm 🌩️​ has been getting more comfortable with front, so you may see him around. High-energy dragon-person with an affinity for... storms. He likes bottle caps, spicy food, and cats.

Rory ​​ is a mostly non-verbal little, possibly a literal lion cub. They communicate mostly in noises or pictures when fronting. They like to sleep and eat creamy things.

There are others who rarely front, but you may hear mention of them. Pepper, Stone, The Twins, and probably some others.

The tablet pen remains missing, but sketchbooks exist.

Here's Pepper, and a very grumpy Rory.

Pepper is one of the folks in Hartstead who gives the strongest Specific Physical Appearance vibes. And in fact this was one of my first clues that we were splitting, when once when preparing for that work I/we were surprised by my tattoo-less shoulders and short hair. Despite never having or wanting these tattoos, nor long dark hair.

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(Skipping 24 because I can't find the tablet pen >.>)

As far as romantic relationships, the only one in one is me (Rai), married to a singlet.

But she's been really sweet. I feel bad a lot about not Being There all the time, but she's said she considers the rest of Hartstead to be family.

Skyler has had a few crushes on friends, but nothing substantial.

I think he and I dated for a bit in high school.

None of the others really even have friendships outside of the system. We're too inconsistent to feel like that's fair to people. To make friends an then disappear.
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The story I want to tell is from high school. And I have such beautiful warm memories attached to it. And it was one of the few times that I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that we were all real, that it wasn't an overactive imagination or attention seeking.

My high school had a variant of the Sadie Hawkins dance, where (gender roles, 🙄​) girls invite boys to the dance.

At the time I identified as a girl, so I was in an awkward position of trying to find a date. I don't remember if I asked anyone else or if I decided this from the start, but in the end I asked Skyler.

The only memories I actually have that night are from Skyler's side of it, wearing a tuxedo, being complimented on his dancing, and sitting with me out on a cold sidewalk looking at the stars.

It was really good and sweet.
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hhh we're a few days behind on Multiplicity May because front has been a shitshow this weekend haha so apologies in advance for a bunch of posts in a row at some point! we're still gonna do em because we've been enjoying thinking about these and interacting with folks.
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uhhhh taggy thing
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Playing the card game and this is blessed

🌩️​ Uhhh Skyler was supposed to front to tell a story for yesterday's prompt.WHY AM I HERE.

this keyboard ssuccks. it double taps so many things.

rory what did this MEAN
circles?? round????

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5 is 🥧🌈⭕0️⃣🅾️⚪⚫🔴🔵⬛🔘🎆

we feel small and soft

we're white as fuck, and speak pretty much just english

We did take some French classes, and I'm working on learning Te Reo Māori, and some Japanese because my wife is majoring in it at uni. But for the most part, just english.

pictured: us

I'm happy to talk about this stuff but I don't blame others for maybe not wanting to disclose things, especially being wary of syscourse.

When we were sent to therapy the first time, we were diagnosed with Bipolar II. That didn't fit right, but things went so poorly, it was a long time before we got professional help again.

When we did - when I did, because I was alone then - I was diagnosed instead with Double Depression. Which is a really fun combination of dysthymia and Major Depression. Plus generalised anxiety.

My depression affects us all in some ways, but the only other one that I think actually HAS depression is Skyler. But an odd thing I've noticed is he doesn't have my anxiety.

Aside from those, I think I'm on the Autistic spectrum, may have ADHD, and something dissociative. You know, go big or go home I guess.

I don't think anyone has disorders or disabilities that I don't also have.
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but hey also if others aren't keen on doing this one, you're super valid for skipping it.

oh no tomorrow.............. selfie............................................why

*rocks up 6 days late with starbucks*

Is that still a meme?

Anyway, yeah I don't actually know what Rai wants me to say about this. Except that I think I might be gay actually, but I don't know. It's really hard paring apart My Feelings from Rai's feelings from Anyone Else's feelings.

I super thought I was straight though up until like two years ago... hah. Nope. Turns out I like boys. Surprise!

But the way I like boys is different to how Pepper likes them, and different to how Rai used to think they liked them.

Sexuality is weird when you try to think about it from a singlet perspective, let alone a plural one.

In the years between system eras, when Rai was alone, they actually thought they were bi, and I wonder if we did actually integrate if we would be bi. Food for thought. Anyway, Rai if you want me to talk about something #1 - TELL ME, #2 - be more specific. yeah?
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Sorry I'm dumping all these replies all at once, but I don't know when I'll be fronting next and Rai keeps saying I have stuff to add, but then doesn't leave me any notes to say "hey go do this thing"

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Chiming in with some of those vintage first era memories.

The oddest reaction we got to coming out was imitation. And it was consistent! I can remember two folks (Rai's wife being one of them), who reacted to our plurality with their own, but who later turned out to be singlet.

I legitimately don't think it was malicious or intentional. We were all young and figuring ourselves out. But it's interesting to remember that. And also a bit lonely and sad, thinking that those folks either no longer exist or never did.

I mentioned some of this in another thread, but the other reaction we got was shitty boyfriends being shitty because they couldn't control us all.

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2/2
My former position as a persecutor is the strongest example of a "role" we have, though others fit into some general archetypes or roles.

Rory, for instance, is absolutely a little. In the first era of the system, it was a lil lemur like creature with big ears called Churro.

Stone we're starting to understand as some kind of protector. The very first headmate we can remember is a god-like being called Zap, who was also probably some kind of protector.

I guess The Twins are probably headed for the new persecutor role if they ever show up again around here.

Pepper and I hold the most memories/trauma, I think. I've got a handful of stuff from the first era, she's got the stuff from that specific job.
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1/2
I'm glad I'm the one fronting for this so no one else has to tiptoe around what an asshole I used to be. In the first era of the system, we didn't know any other systems, didn't know any of these terms. So what we're doing now is looking back at memories with a modern lens to try to define experiences. So I guess keep that in mind.

Learning the term "persecutor" was both enlightening and painful. Learning that there were enough others like me for it to be a "role" felt validating, but also made us feel bad for everyone else stuck with a Skyler.

It's probably not appropriate to talk about how I know I was a persecutor, how closely I fit descriptions, without having to put a lot of warnings on this post. But I was. And it was bad. And we'll never fully recover from that. But now I'm different. I don't know, I mellowed out. I still hurt, and I still want to hurt. But I don't do it. So I guess that's the bit that counts.
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