Re-doing our #introductions AGAIN because of the name change.
https://hartstead.carrd.co/ for up-to-date details and more info.
The primary front is Rai 🦁, they are nonbinary, married to a singlet. Likes lions and video games.
Skyler is a common fronter, helps with protection and emotions. He's fond of computers, coding, EDM, and video games.
Storm 🌩️ has been getting more comfortable with front, so you may see him around. High-energy dragon-person with an affinity for... storms. He likes bottle caps, spicy food, and cats.
Rory is a mostly non-verbal little, possibly a literal lion cub. They communicate mostly in noises or pictures when fronting. They like to sleep and eat creamy things.
There are others who rarely front, but you may hear mention of them. Pepper, Stone, The Twins, and probably some others.
Multiplicity May 27 - Hate and Stigma
I feel fortunate to have avoided any hate or the effects of stigma directed personally at me, or the rest of us.
I have encountered some frustration in trying to correct misconceptions or reduce stigma. People are often most concerned with making me understand that they didn't MEAN any harm, rather than accepting corrections or feedback and making improvements. But that's not at all unique to discussing plurality.
Multiplicity May 26 - The System Community
Whoops forgot to do this one yesterday! Though it's the 26th in much of the world so it still counts probably.
I didn't know there was any such thing as a "system community" and in fact didn't have any of these words to describe my experiences until I started to see some of it pop up on tumblr. I avoided it as much as I could, because at that point I was still alone in my head and i was scared that being exposed to system stuff would awaken mine again.
But when the system DID wake up, it was too tantalizing to not go explore the "community" - the resources, the language, the shared experiences and validation were incredible.
I've stayed out of and away from most "syscourse" stuff, and only see the worst of it in vague references. I really like this Mastodon instance and the two lil Discord servers I'm in. I wish I could make friends, but clinging to the periphery is okay too.
Multiplicity May 24 - Drawing of a Headmate
The tablet pen remains missing, but sketchbooks exist.
Here's Pepper, and a very grumpy Rory.
Pepper is one of the folks in Hartstead who gives the strongest Specific Physical Appearance vibes. And in fact this was one of my first clues that we were splitting, when once when preparing for that work I/we were surprised by my tattoo-less shoulders and short hair. Despite never having or wanting these tattoos, nor long dark hair.
Multiplicity May - 25 Relationships
(Skipping 24 because I can't find the tablet pen >.>)
As far as romantic relationships, the only one in one is me (Rai), married to a singlet.
But she's been really sweet. I feel bad a lot about not Being There all the time, but she's said she considers the rest of Hartstead to be family.
Skyler has had a few crushes on friends, but nothing substantial.
I think he and I dated for a bit in high school.
None of the others really even have friendships outside of the system. We're too inconsistent to feel like that's fair to people. To make friends an then disappear.
Multiplicity May 23 - Story time
The story I want to tell is from high school. And I have such beautiful warm memories attached to it. And it was one of the few times that I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that we were all real, that it wasn't an overactive imagination or attention seeking.
My high school had a variant of the Sadie Hawkins dance, where (gender roles, 🙄) girls invite boys to the dance.
At the time I identified as a girl, so I was in an awkward position of trying to find a date. I don't remember if I asked anyone else or if I decided this from the start, but in the end I asked Skyler.
The only memories I actually have that night are from Skyler's side of it, wearing a tuxedo, being complimented on his dancing, and sitting with me out on a cold sidewalk looking at the stars.
It was really good and sweet.
uhhhh taggy thing
rory what did this MEAN
Multiplicity May 21 - Disabilities and Disorders
I'm happy to talk about this stuff but I don't blame others for maybe not wanting to disclose things, especially being wary of syscourse.
When we were sent to therapy the first time, we were diagnosed with Bipolar II. That didn't fit right, but things went so poorly, it was a long time before we got professional help again.
When we did - when I did, because I was alone then - I was diagnosed instead with Double Depression. Which is a really fun combination of dysthymia and Major Depression. Plus generalised anxiety.
My depression affects us all in some ways, but the only other one that I think actually HAS depression is Skyler. But an odd thing I've noticed is he doesn't have my anxiety.
Aside from those, I think I'm on the Autistic spectrum, may have ADHD, and something dissociative. You know, go big or go home I guess.
I don't think anyone has disorders or disabilities that I don't also have.
re: Multiplicity May 13 - Sexuality
*rocks up 6 days late with starbucks*
Is that still a meme?
Anyway, yeah I don't actually know what Rai wants me to say about this. Except that I think I might be gay actually, but I don't know. It's really hard paring apart My Feelings from Rai's feelings from Anyone Else's feelings.
I super thought I was straight though up until like two years ago... hah. Nope. Turns out I like boys. Surprise!
But the way I like boys is different to how Pepper likes them, and different to how Rai used to think they liked them.
Sexuality is weird when you try to think about it from a singlet perspective, let alone a plural one.
In the years between system eras, when Rai was alone, they actually thought they were bi, and I wonder if we did actually integrate if we would be bi. Food for thought. Anyway, Rai if you want me to talk about something #1 - TELL ME, #2 - be more specific. yeah?
re: Multiplicity May 16 - Coming Out
Chiming in with some of those vintage first era memories.
The oddest reaction we got to coming out was imitation. And it was consistent! I can remember two folks (Rai's wife being one of them), who reacted to our plurality with their own, but who later turned out to be singlet.
I legitimately don't think it was malicious or intentional. We were all young and figuring ourselves out. But it's interesting to remember that. And also a bit lonely and sad, thinking that those folks either no longer exist or never did.
I mentioned some of this in another thread, but the other reaction we got was shitty boyfriends being shitty because they couldn't control us all.
The Pride (subsystem): Rai/Rory/Stone
The rest: Skyler/Storm/Pepper and more
Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.