mh~, but hope 

In the last weeks I'm struggling really badly to get some basic things done. Especially in the last days, like sending some single, application-like email. Or finishing a project that used to be fun. It was frustrating, now it's grinding and sucking all life out of my existence.

Also for a long time I'm not managing to improve internal communication a lot. Stuck.

However, the evening before yesterday I sat down, calmly, and asked the rest of our system very unspecifically for help. Yesterday We managed to get something done. Not finished yet, but there definitely was some progress.

internal communication, guessing, + 

I'm rethinking our internal communication now.

Maybe our communication does not work verbally, at leat at the moment. Maybe language is just the dot on the I that comes later, but not the essential part.

Maybe I/we need to learn to ask and listen. Learning, as in: Not just understanding the importance of asking and listening, but how to do it right. I think I/we/some are very able to listen to and ask other external people. But internally other rules might apply.

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re: internal communication, landscaping, ++ 

Not sure how exactly it came about, but in the last three hours we made a gigantic step in terms of internal communication.

Finally I ("host") had a longer talks with two other system members and met two more briefly. One of the longer talks was with a caring member who answered some burning questions about past, present, and future, and helped/helps getting in contact with the others.

Also we worked on our internal landscape. We got a house now, yay. Still a bit unsure about internal geography for us, but if it helps now, we will go for it and see whether it sticks.

This was great. And kinda out of the blue. I hope this is a start of something that continues.

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mh~, but hope 

@teatime :( same I relate to your situation so much

hmmm asking system members for help... yeah I should do that (we are all shit at communicating lmao we need someone on a social media website to suggest "hey maybe communicate with your system to get work done)

re: mh~, but hope 

@the_ainur_system Thanks and sorry to hear!

After thinking about it again, "asking" means two different things for us right now. One is more results-oriented: "Hi other system members. I want to get X done. X is important for us as a system, because of Y. I tried really hard, but I cannot get X done. Could somebody help me or take over, please? I will ensure we have uninterrupted time at Z." That seemed to have helped a lot.

The other form of asking was literally asking one specific member a closed question, and then listening carefully. That is, not expecting an answer, but being open to any answer that might come. (Hard to explain.)

That directed question did not always work in the past. In the last days it worked better. It appears helpful for us to imagine an internal landscape and have the body in a very focused, meditation-like state.

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