Pinned toot

Introduction, system origins 

Hi! I'm Emily. I experienced a sort of paradigm shift in the past week... I originally thought of my headmates as distorted reflections of me, parts of a whole viewed through a distorted perspective, but I realized that no longer quite fit when one was feeling something I just... wasn't. That accounts for three of the others - Red, and two more that haven't picked names for themselves yet.
Then there's Crystal. I have absolutely no idea where she came from and neither does she. She just started... having thoughts, here and there. I could tell they weren't mine, but whenever I tried to communicate, it always felt like talking to an empty room.
That's what sparked the shift - I was trying to find a way to get her to just come out and talk to me plainly when one of the yet-unnamed others came to me in tears, scared of what it meant if I succeeded - ironically, causing me to draw the very conclusion she feared the consequences of! After all, if I'm not worried at all and the one talking to me is scared to tears, we can't be the same person.

So now we're here! It's been a few days since then. I still front most of the time, but the others are... more active than they were, and have fronted on multiple occasions.

plural stuff, imposition 

⭐ Ve learned about the idea of "imposition" lately, and realized that Guide already does presence imposition any time he's around... And therefore, any of us can do it any time we want.
⭐ It's very weird to have someone "wave their hand in front of your face" and have your eyes try to focus on it despite there not being anything there. It's just the feeling that "there's a hand in front of my face. something is there" without any actual senses causing that feeling
⭐ we can't do any other kind of imposition, although I'd already been curious about tactile hallucinations via hypnosis just because the idea was fascinating to me, and I've had the idea of intentionally messing with my perception for a while, although never in a visual sense.
⭐ Heck, I just realized, I tried visual imposition with my imaginary friends. Huh, I wonder if any of them had agency the way the other members of my system do.

💎 brain just said "crystal time" so i've been around most of today! i think that's neat. i like being around. ^-^

💎 It's been too long since ve listened to Four Beasts... it's so creepy and fun!

🔴 I don't want to give up the front. I hate the drink ve're drinking, I hate the work ve need to do, I hate everything about this, and yet I don't want to give up the front. Why?

🔴 ...Really. This sour fruit punch sucks. I don't like sour or spicy.
⭐ How can you not like sour and spicy?
🔴 Because people have different tastes and we're not the same person.

🔴 Sometimes I feel like I just get in the way. Showing up when someone else is trying to do something.

plural rings on r/place 

we've moved the center to 557,220, and need as much help as we can get... the image here is just a plan! we don't even have the main outline done!

discord group chat for those so inclined:
boosts greatly appreciated!

⭐ r/plural is trying to make this image on r/place... centered on (190,759) sounds good to me, anyone else on board?

⭐ you know that meme that's like
me: my bag of candy
friends: ☭ OUR bag of candy

⭐ plurality results in that exchange a lot

⭐ although it also sometimes results in
me: our problem
system: 🇺🇸 YOUR problem

⭐ I'm looking for a therapist, and I've found one that specializes in dissociative disorders, and I really don't know how to say "I'm plural" in a way that I'm sure they'll understand that also doesn't sound like I'm self-diagnosing. I hear doctors get really annoyed when you do that.

does the feeling you're faking it ever go away?

plural stuff, therapy, question 

⭐ If we go "we want a therapist that isn't going to try to 'fix' our plurality, are you okay with taking us as patients, as a group, and treating us as separate people?" and they say "yes" and then treat plurality like a problem to get rid of anyways instead of trying to help with our actual issues, can we, like, demand our money back for having been sold a service under false pretenses? 🤔 Like, I doubt this is gonna happen, but...

🔴 It's always awkward when one of us is stuck in the front and doesn't have anything in particular they want to do, and another wants to do something but can't hold onto the front. The others want to read Questionable Content, but I'm not really interested.
🔴 ...Wait, "the others?" ...I guess Captain Identity Crisis is in on it. Or Captains Identity Crises, if there's more than one. Ve're still not sure. The "voice" they think in seems like it keeps changing, but ve all have trouble keeping our voices consistent and distinct sometimes, so that doesn't mean ve have more than a fifth
🔴 ...Fuuuuck, I just accepted we have a fifth. Like ve weren't already having trouble with members not being around as often as ve'd like with four members and two fragments.
🔴 What exactly defines a fragment as opposed to a full member of a system, anyways?

🔴 Found a new subreddit, "voidpunk." For those who feel excluded from humanity. "If you don't follow society's requirements for being human, why try to be human? Be you."
🔴 I can't say I don't think of myself as human, but I like their style.

plural stuff 

⭐ I know you're here, you want to be here, I want you to be here... So why aren't you doing anything?

meds, minor temporary mh -, just venting 

🔴 Ve keep getting up late and not taking our ADHD meds, because taking them at 12 means ve can't eat until 21, maybe 22... And I'm getting kind of depressed.
🔴 Ve feel physically tired... But I'm depressed. I'm mad about that, because nobody else feels like this. I have things I want to do, but can't find the energy for them, and it doesn't feel like my fault. It feels like I'm being denied my part of our life by no fault of my own. I know it's not intentional, but it's still infuriating.
🔴 I suppose I could help by trying to get us into bed on time for once. Break the cycle or whatever.

🔴 Emily sent a message to a therapist we used to see. Wish us luck, I suppose.

💎 I'm back! I'm so glad to be back... How do I make it happen more often? All of us want me to be around more! But it's so rare...
💎 I hope I'll be here tomorrow!

Hmm... A question for y'all, just out of curiosity.
Is your headspace primarily indoors or outdoors?

I've got a friend questioning whether they might be multiple. Anyone have any advice on helping them figure it out?

Show older
Plural Café

Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.