Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

Something that’s just occurring to me is the fact that women outnumber every other gender on earth. They make up the majority of humans by a considerable margin.

What’s striking to me about this statistic is that people still want to practice monoamory, while believing that monoamory is “fair”. That makes no sense.

First, let’s say the vast majority of these women are attracted to men (reasonable enough). Second, let’s assume that the vast majority of humans (of all genders) enjoy and desire sexual and/or romantic intimacy. Third, the vast majority of people desire “fairness” in society where relationships are concerned: one mate only, don’t cheat on your partner, etc.

What you end up with in that model is a hell of a lot of single ladies.


re: Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

My argument here is not that all women should be in relationships, but that monoamorists have this...idea that their system is one that is numerically fair, and it just isn’t. It’s not a good theory. Your cis math does not work. Your rationalism only tracks if you assume that humans are incapable of healthy, consensual non-monogamy.

I sometimes get the sense that cis people rationalize monoamory to conceal the fact that they aren’t psychologically mature enough to entertain the idea of a polycule, let alone participate in one. But more than that, I think they do it because capitalism is so deeply ingrained in their psyches that they allow it to dictate how they DATE.



re: Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

@setsuna there are some terms in this post that I don't quite understand, so hopefully not misinterpreting...

But one thing I'd suggest is that there's a huge diff between being in a monogamous relationship and thinking that's the way every relationship should be.

I understand ur pt about math, but relationships are unique and don't boil down to pragmatism.

Also confused by how you conflate cis identity with monogamy.


re: Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

@setsuna for example, my partner is queer and we both feel strongly about being in a monogamous relationship. That's right for our relationship and it's not a political statement or some puritanical adherence to norms.

We have tons of friends who are poly and we celebrate their choices.

But what is right for our relationship is valid too

re: Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

@slackz Sorry if this came across as an attack — I’m talking specifically about the argument that monoamory is more numerically fair than polyamory. A lot of people have argued to me that polyamory would be statistically unfair because it would leave people without partners, which suddenly makes no sense to me because of the gender imbalance. So the point I’m trying to make, which I should have clarified 😅 is that the idea that polyamory would create “mate scarcity” doesn’t hold up in light of the imbalance.

The reason I stipulate “cis” is because of the assumption I make for my argument, which is that the vast majority of individuals are cis.

re: Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

@setsuna ah yeah, thanks for clarification. The argument you are disputing is certainly not one I would make :)


re: Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

@slackz And yes, relationships are extremely complex and subject to cultural attitudes (both macro and micro). I’m trying to frame this more as “Why would this species keep leaving a portion of its population without mates?” than “Why not polyamory?”

re: Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

@setsuna I think this is a valid point but also consider:

Cishet men deserve no girlfriend not more girlfriends

Economic Perspectives on Polyamory 

@deme I have this exact thought at least three times a day fml 😂

Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

@deme Me: *rationalizes a scenario in which men get more girlfriends*

Me @ myself: Wtf

Economic Perspective on Polyamory 

@setsuna lol glad we're on the same page tho x3;;; 💖

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