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plurality, identity feels, negative, long, kinda personal sorry 

i always struggle with feeling like i don't really have a personality or identity, compared to my sysmates

and like, i've been here a LONG time. it's not like i'm someone who's new and finding themself. it's like our brain pushes back against me trying to have solid personality traits. interests, sure, those are safe, but nothing that distinguishes me too much from the rest.

i think because i tend to be the fallback person, the "nobody else is fronting so it's io" person, the "other people are feeling too fragile right now" person, it's like... almost as if i'm not supposed to have specific things about me, not supposed to have strong and individual relationships with others, because that way i can continue to be The One Who Is Here When Others Can't Be

although given that i am currently Not Doing That Great Actually, idk whether that approach is really working, brain...

🌱

re: plurality, identity feels, negative, long, kinda personal sorry 

@seasnakes *offers hugs if okay*

Re: plurality, identity feels, negative, long, kinda personal sorry 

@seasnakes I kinda feel you :/

Before integrating with Sara and becoming me, I as Lilly struggled with the same thing, or at least I would have put it in very similar words.

I never got around to working through that before integrating, unfortunately, so I don't think I have much to tell you, except: you're not alone and it sucks :/

🌀

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Plural Café

Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.