Pinned toot

(Selfies contain: eye contact, vegan sweets, provocative clothing)

E: Ok quengas, I think it’s time for a .
R: Yeah, when we did the other one we didn’t even understand Carmelita’s nature, haha.
C: Oh you knew :chick_devil_cute:​⁠💃⁠🔥⁠​🔱​ you were just in denial.
E: Look, I don’t believe in supernatural things, ok? It’s all just, like, a metaphor or something?
E: It’s not my fault if the daemonic spirit of carnality possessing my body disagrees (u.u )

E: Hi again fediverse! We’re the quengaral system, a bunch of crazy anarchist transfem witches inhabiting a hot Latina milf bod~ 💖
R: We’re the witch of mirrors.

Elilla: I’m Elilla (she)! I’m a binary high-femme diva. I like community, caring for people, pink and sparkly things.
Ramona: Hi I’m Ramona (she/they)! I’m something like a femby. I like fights, non-colonial ways of seeing, and revolution.
Carmen: Hi I’m Carmelita (she) ☆ I’m a travesti pombagira eshu and I like <censored>, <censored> and <censored>why are you censoring me :p
E: Otherwise we’d have to put half a dozen CWs in the introduction
C: Hnf (mock pouting) (actually she’s proud of this)

R: Ok so we’re a mixed, spiritual, amnesiac system rejecting medicalisation. Me and E. have been around in incipient forms, yay trauma, but we came to the front upon gender transition, which we experienced as a break in identity.
E: The first time I came through was crying, I cried so much
R: You still cry so much
E: Proud of it too ^.^

E: Carmelita came later. She just… _descended_, all at once.
C: rose
C: we come from below :chick_giggle:
R: Travestis are a transfeminine culture from Brazil. I don’t think this is fully documented anywhere, but many travestis claim special relationships with the female spirits of pleasure and freedom in umbanda shamanism.
E: You see a lot of "bitch wanted to backstab me but my pombagira is stronger than hers", that kinda thing.
C: Your kind has attracted my kind since forever
C: Tasty treats ♥
E: Didn’t really expected that to happen to me – I was a proud skeptic, remember – but honestly it’s the best thing to have happened in my girly girl life
E: I love her. she’s brought us so much. we _are_ so much, being her
E: Highly recommend being possessed A+ would become legion for we are many
C: you’re well on the way hon ^.~

R: Properly C. is not a purely exogenous personality but something like a plural self manifesting the influence of a spirit guide.
R: Though this is true of all possession. The metaphor umbanda mediums like to use is lattes: the spirit is the coffee and the medium the milk, and what you see is the mix, to various degrees.
C: We’re a 50/50 pingado blend :chick_coffee:
R: Carmen said it’s pretty common for mediums to be plural to being with, what is called "animism" or "mystification" in our tradition.
C: Makes the whole process easier, you know?

R: The three of us are highly verbal and talk mentally all the time. E. and I co-front and switch often, C. fronts too more on special occasions…
C: …for now 🔥
E: I was fronting first and R. was a protector, did emerge to protect us in a few very memorable occasions.
R: I’m out more regularly now.
R: This written sketch format has been highly productive for us too.
C: you still ain’t seen nothing. you’ll ~really~ enjoy the experiences you’re going to get in the near future :)

E: We have a couple less talkative sysmates.
mirrorgirl: Hii 👋
E: (smile) Mirrorgirl is who I used to call "Girl Who Could Never Have Been". She’s our counterfactual self from a chlidhood where we got to be a girl.
R: She’s not simply an inner child but a Promised Child—not a hurt child to protect, but someone who burns down the school then jumps its walls.
m: And don’t look back. I’m a *girl* and I did *not* deserve that, fuck all of them.
R: (wiping tears from the body as we write this) Therefore she’s the Girl Who Can Now Be 😌
R: She shows us drawings from behind the mirror. She’s the only one of us who can use the mind visually, the rest of us can’t conjure images.
m: I'm an artist (=^_^=)

E: Then there’s niichan.
(E. gesture towards the vast, boundless sea.)
R: Big bro is our identity from before transition. He’s dead.
E: We glance him on the mirror from time to time. We used to have a phobia of mirrors, from way back in girlhood, you know? It was scary. We long called him "the doppelgänger".
R: Then with Carmen’s guidance we brought him back via necromancy to have a chat (Carmen has a thing for making us play with our fears). He’s not a terrible guy, turns out. He fought a lot for us to be out.
E: Doesn’t talk or front. Niichan didn’t really liked existing, you know? I think he was in some ways a protector, too, a shell over us. And now he rests beneath the sea.
R: We call him "deadname", or "the draugr".

R: We have codified our mirrormagick as spells here: wordsmith.social/elilla/4-spel
R: All of them work even if you don’t believe in magic
R: Magic believes in you ;)

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umbanda posession, plurality-adj, caps 

R: Opened the pombagira book to review the Dream Vessel spell, randomly saw some bits about possession that we found funny

> Westerners [R: book gringo excludes Brazilians from this category] have learned to fear possession, because in this state we believe we lose control over the social creation we like to call a self. We should not fear possession, if anything it expands our being.

E: yup.

> When she comes down into our body we will first feel a pressure, an intensity that fills us from the centre and then expands out and meets something that erupts from beneath our feet. You will feel compelled to laugh and curse.

E: yup, checks out.
C: told you, "comes up".

> Though in time this violence or crisis will soften, the same sensation of being taken over will be a constant.

R: it feels great, honestly
E: (exxagerated sexy voice) take me Carmencita~ take me <3
C: oh, always <3

> It is here that the genuine possession takes place, which for some can pave the way for a two-headed possession.

R: aka co-fronting.
E: What he's calling "genuine possession" is what umbanda people call "unconscious possession", right? Full amnesia.
R: According to the discussions we've been following these are becoming ever more rare among mediums, for transcendental reasons. Some are questioning whether they even exist.
C: Oh they do.
C: We'll ride you that way on the congá, it will be a learning experience.
C: No don't edit that, there's a reason why I said "we" ;)

> The dynamic depends on which Pombagira is taking shape. Maria Padilha is usually of a gentler kind, while the Crossroad Pombagiras are harsh and critical and those of the Lyre-and-Street often push your limits and boundaries.

E: As if there was ever any doubt about which realm is yours (snarky side look)
C: Literally made you pick the name meaning "song". I’m nothing if not transparent (^.~)-☆

> The Spirit Book can prove to be useful—
C: DO THE DAMN BOOK already (u.u 💢)
E&R: sowwy 👉👈

> …since these spirits tend to be quite talkative when they get going.

R: You don’t say.
C: As if you 2 weren’t matracas with no off button :p

> …you will notice an upsurge of enthusiasm, creativity and inspirations of various kinds.

E: Overwhelmingly so, yes.

> likewise, she inspires song and poetry—so allow this creative impulse to flow into your life.

R: as if we could do anything else ^^;

Pinned toot

religious stuff, sense of purpose, animal sacrifice mention 

experienced friend: oh umbanda is great
friend: the terreiros tend to be so fun, so full of joy, dance, scents, laughs
friend: the people are amazing!!
friend: but sometimes it does get kinda
friend: liturgical
friend: that's why I've been a bit away from it these days, in order to work on my own magic
friend: but if you're leaning that way, look for terreiros that offer mediunic development courses, it's what says on the tin.

R: yeah I get that, I got that vibe too
R: it's funny cos we first approached this very much with religious feelings, not magical
R: had no plans to take up witchcraft again
R: we came with a sense of deep awe for the umbanda entities, wanted to like, pay tribute to them
R: it's not a worshippy kind of religion, is it
R: "if you're lighting up a candle tell me, what do you ~want~"
R: what we get from the entities is all "how the hell would I know how to do that" and "empower yourself solve your own stuff bitch" haha

R: we feel drawn to quimbanda, honestly
R: with one big issue. we won't do blood magic. we're vegans, throughly. at a spiritual level too
R: in this aspect we're on the umbanda side

R: but everything else.
R: the rejection of Christian syncretism, a certain discomfort with the coloniser religion, which may be expressed as downright luciferianism. that's a lifelong
R: a sense of independence and autonomy, of decentralisation, even more than umbanda
R: openness to black magic, we'd totally curse a fascist lol
R: the list of entities worked with: just Ogum, Exú and Pombagira
R: exactly the 3 with which we've had teophanies at various points in our life

R: even the blood stuff. honestly umbanda does it in a way that's not meaningful to us.
R: true, they don't sacrifice animals... but what's the point of not killing chickens in rituals if you eat chickens
R: umbanda treats it as barbaric, but raising chickens in your backyard and killing them personally is the less cruel one. factory farming is the real barbarism
R: honestly the reason they removed the bloodwork wasn't for the animals, it was whitewashing, it was for respectability. it was to bleach the Black roots.
R: we don't want to be respectable. we want vegan quimbanda.

R: but cutting is so integral to most quimbanda circles that I don't know if we'll ever be able to be formally initiated and stuff
R: well, not that there's any quimbanda around in the middle of Germany haha
R: what life put in our path rn is umbanda.

R: Carmen tells us that we should learn everything we can from umbanda first, including full incorporation
R: that this will be the basis to develop our own take on quimbanda later.

R: I want to...
R: we want to
R: we feel called to
R: foreground the queerness, the insurrectionary values we feel to be immanent in these traditions
R: and when we're ready, to provide service. write books and stuff
R: develop something to offer spiritual support to those of us who want or need it, in the ongoing apocalypse.

Queer Horoscope strikes again 

E: I love Corina so much, I never thought I'd have as much enthusiasm for horoscope of all things as I have for the Queer Horoscope. Really a pleasure read every month.

Turns out mine currently is on "getting curious about what happens beneath language" hihi

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kink as a simile 

E: it's like reading a body when domming, you know the feeling? You couldn't explain all the little body signals and voice quivers consciously, you just, you open yourself, pay attention, soak all these signs, then your mind outputs "oh she's not vibing, slow down", or "ara ara looks like somebody is into this~"

E: except it's not body language you are listening to, it's something else I can't explain.

E: the language of the silence behind the words.

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E: been getting witchvoice lately.
E: like telling to a girl who's amazed at how things turned out for her, "Yes, you'll find this will continue to happen. I know how you feel, unreal, isn't it? It won't stop for you, your paths will just open."
E: I have no idea what I'm doing. It just wants to be said 🙈 it comes off out of its own accord, with a confidence I can't explain. it's just this mood of, this is the truth, and more importantly, what will help her rn.
E: or "yes I get what you mean, me too I never had much interest in the thing when I was back home, people can ruin anything. But—" (and then it blurts out, makes me press "toot", I really have no idea what I'm doing, I just _know_ it's what needs saying) "—you may find that the santería is in you, the same way umbanda stayed inside me. It might do something good for you yet." and I'm being _coy_, years of academic training make me force myself to add the "mays" and "perhaps" but when the medicine proves useful I'm not even surprised. I'm not even proud or confident, it's like I'm not the one doing this.

E: and no I don't think it's possession either x3 when she takes over the feeling in the body is very distinct. this is just like, ok kink simile incoming

this is so rad, check it out: The Orisha pantheon portrayed in a similar style as Kirby did gods in classic Marvel comics. From Hugo Canuto’s "Orisha Tales" project.

the iconography is rich and well-researched, leveraging traditional symbols in creative ways. I hope we see more Orisha, Nkisi and other African entities in pop culture more often.

selected a few I’m most emotional about and who have been present in my life:

Ogum smith-warrior, Eshu-brother, won’t save you will make you strong,

Oyá, Iansã of the thunder, sword-dancer in the gale-winds,

Iemanjá fish-mother, dona Janaína, Queen beneath the Sea, your single mom who will set your right,

and beautiful Oxum of the river, sweet young-mother, who loves adoration as much as gold, whose big yellow eyes cry easily but miss nothing.

Spiritual guides from other religions:

"The space you inhabit is a projection of your soul. We must align the feng shui of your home to balance the energy flow of your chakras for positive influences. This is why it is more important than ever to take care of your personal space as you would of your own mind. Turn your house into a sacred space, make it into a shrine…"

R: fuck this new age crap this is meh

Dæmonic guides from my religion:

"Y’all when ya get to the terreiros and feel that chill up yer spine, ya go 'holy mother tonight the night will be caliente!<3' don'tcha? don'tcha?? but at yer place if ya get in and feel it coming you're all, 'oh no my house is heavy I'm scared of the kiumbas boohoo I'm scared to sleep'. Well guess what motherfuckers, there's no terreiros anymore, not for a long time! I'm getting into all the horses, telling y'alls the same thing: yer house is the terreiro now, normally we don't do that but state of fucking emergency up here, we'll be gonna doing the workings together at your place from now on. so you better make the goddamn place habitable"

R: aaaah so much wisdom my religion is so cool and great :D :D

re: me being silly about religion, gender 

E: here’s your coffee, mister! saravá!

(E: wants to pay respects somehow)
(body: wants to do the shintō bowing)
(E: is this cultural appropriation. does this make me a bad girl)
(E: nya whatever)

body: (bow, bow, clap, clap, bow…)

body: (is bowing with hands in front, on thighs)
body: (not by the side as we were trained for in the tea path)
body: (is doing the "fem" bow not the "masc")

E: I’m a ✨⁠girl⁠✨ :D

body: (bows)

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me being silly about religion 

R: fuck it it’s too late gonna browse the internet to sleep on bed
E: awn but his coffee will just stay there overnight ;-;
R: but if we are going to dispose of an offering we need to wash all dishes first
E: poor old grandpa ;-;
R: ok let’s do it

E: nyan let’s just get into the internet we make coffee later
R: what about grampa tho, he likes it early morning
E: oh yes ok

(proceeds to make coffee every morning and keep dishes washed every day like some sort of functional adult human being)

grandpa: :)

added some illustrations to this writeup, even if you read it already I'd gently suggest peeking at the photos they're cool queers and I love them <3

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re: anti-Christian feelings clarification 

Here’s a sacred spirit-chant from my religion. Live.

youtube.com/watch?v=msHTPhRXP7

I will translate it for you.

> Laroyê Pombagira.

> The people wanted death upon a certain lady
> The priest opposed it, prayed her full of faith
(repeat)

> He was himself a sinner, they burned him with her
> And this dead couple ended up in Hell together
> Her ashes rose again, in the moonlight she laughed
> The woman now [Pombagira] Mulambo
> And the priest, [Eshu] Mr. Lockstreet
(repeat)

tie in another witchsong,

> She was condemned by Inquisition Law
> To be burnt alive, Good (Passion) Friday
(repeat)

> The priest kept praying while the people watched
> The stronger the flames got,

> The louder she laughed.

(shouts. call-and-response singing continues. drums. dance.)
(repeat. repeat. repeat.)

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anti-Christian feelings clarification 

R: we’re not anti-Christians in the sense of hating people who are drawn to Christian spirituality. we hate the sin not the sinner rofl

R: but seriously, our religion happily synchretises with Christianity as much as it will do any other religion. umbanda is very promiscuous, and the country is a Christian colony. if we rejected any interactions with Christians we’d be pretty isolated within umbanda. a lot of our family is Catholic, to varying levels of devoutness, and dear to us. Liberation Theology has done good work for the people and we want to recognise that.

R: it’s just that, as long as Christianity is bound to the Word more than the Spirit, it will carry within it the potential for a lot of harm. we have grown critical of holy scripture of any kind, and the Christian Scripture is not exactly chill. Christian denominations actively organising, and deploying, religious colonialism isn’t just shameful history, it’s happening *right now* everywhere. in our country they act to erase African-matrix religious like ours, and do outright cultural genocide against the few remaining Amazonian peoples. I'm not being hyperbolic, this is their explicit project, look it up.

R: for as long as the Catholic and Pentecostal denominations don’t take an explicit and committed stance against that, we will never consider these organisations to be on the good side.
R: and even if individual Christian people are kind and caring and supportive. even if they are happy to overlook the verses (in Old Testament and New) about monogamy and patriarchy and the punishment homosexuality deserves. even if they’re fundamentally good people.
R: we have witnessed an intimate relation going like, ‘yes, today all sorts of stuff is just tolerated, the occult in TV, astrology… imagine if the Church brought back the Inquisition today…’

R: with the self-deprecation failing to disguise this oh-so-slight wistfulness in her voice

R: with that brief glint of a collective spark in her eyes, like the eyes of dogs perking up their heads together, the pack about to move as one.

R: we are witches. we know which fever it is whose fire flashes in offhand moments like these. we feel the puff of heat on our skin.

R: If you think it would never happen again, you haven’t been paying attention to world affairs at the margins.

R: for as long as Christianity claims for itself the One Truth, no matter how progressive and woke it gets, it will exude this faint reek of gasoline.

religious alcohol 

R: for a party demoness known for her taste for alcohol, you stop us from drinking quite often
C: yeah I mean not like ~this~
C: drugs are sacred, this is meant for energywork, for happiness
C: not, consolation
C: I ~want~ to have fun with you but you're blocked. you're not listening to me, you need to feed more, do things you like. you need the courage to joy. and rn what u need is sleep not booze lol
R: you play it off but you're such a mom too
C: shut up

R: honestly I feel like shattering our fragile atheism into all-out religion brought us *farther* away from Christianity, not closer. thank god x3

Christians and atheists share a commitment to worldview as something that has to be well-defined, stable and consistent, and a moralistic shaming of any deviation from The Truth. they just disagree on whether the binary value of God is True or False. both perspectives feel so sterile to us, so distant from the street, from blood pulsing in your ears, from life. our umbanda is about drumbeats and spinning skirts, it's about the exercise of solidarity and the sharing of joy. anything to do with words is just the afterglow.

We will gratefully and devoutly put a candle for our goddesskin masto mutual to ward off bad ghosts in the night, then resume full-on materialistic mode to evaluate covid risks next morning. We would never replace a covid test with a tarot reading, the very idea is silly, like trying to drink a shoe. We would also not replace a tarot reading with venting on reddit about our insecurities. We have tried both. One of these things make us calmer, stronger, more resilient, the other sinks us deeper into wallowing.

(isn't it a bit of a philosophical head trip that scientific research is consistent that religious/spiritual practices bring definite psychological and health benefits? it's like science is saying, hey, don't be so serious all the time about me. if only you could both accept the validity and importance of science and simultaneously fool around with other ways of seeing, if only you could *do* religion without a requirement to have *faith* in its silly poetic cosmologies, oh wait you can. don't worry, it's not a sin to be promiscuous. you don't have to marry anyone. you're allowed to be a philosophical slut.)

this idea of worldviews as fluid, as contextual, is in these spaces most often associated with chaos magick. while I think the chaos principle is fundamentally right, I also think it's one of those cases where we white folk trapped ourselves in a corner, then we make a big fuss out of rediscovering our way out, and the solution is just what everybody else was doing all along for 190000 years. indigenous cosmology, folk sorcery has always been contextual.

("don't be a fool, who would do rain dances in the dry season?". which doesn't mean that rain dances are pointless. if it's hard to understand why, it's because you haven't danced.)

plurality, trans feelings, saneism 

E: Randomly coming up to mind how Duchamp was prob plural.

This was the first way we ever conceived of our gender feelings, btw; bigender as in dual-identity, the woman-inside. Like people talked about the trans people of our culture, the travestis. "He's Roger in daylight, but at night she's Rogéria." Like people whispered about possession. Someone having a demon woman sharing the body, strong and free.

When the egg finally hatched, we started lurking in trans reddit, saw some people using language similar to ours (the woman in me, she tells me she wants this and that). We saw the reactions, the verbal aggression, the belittling. There is one way to be real trans, and it's you've always been a girl and just didn't know it. But you are one person wtf, do you _talk_ with the female in you, are you

crazy?

I don't think the "always have been 🌍👨‍🚀🔫👩‍🚀" Standard Gringa Narrative is totally off-base for us. In many ways, our body itself refused to masc, resented puberty. Boys could _smell_ it on us, punished us for it. In many ways, our male identity was an incomplete person, a constructed shell, an AI of sorts.

But he was real, and he was a boy. Not like other boys maybe, but he lived and thought and acted while boy. The main difference between us and Duchamp is that he didn't like living very much, and his Rrose Sélavy loves it so very much that it was better for us to switch the front permanently. (that's me, I'm the Rrose (C: hmf I'm clearly the Rrose of this whorehouse (E: we can both be Rroses ok??))

I'm thinking of multiplicity in a world context, we've been reading a lot on shamanism, on adorcism, but what about things like Fernando Pessoas, what about Roberta Breitmore, the whole tradition of alter-egos and lived personas in art, among queer folk, among mystics and charlatans and prostitutes.

ls: things ain't so bad. you've been through worse and pulled through. there's a lot of ppl who got your back. you never had as much support as you do rn and you earned it
R: noo stop
ls (evily): you can do this with one hand behind your back, you know. you are a boon to those in your life. there's nothing Germany can do to kick you out at this point, if they try we make a fuss they won't forget. even the boss you fought with was looking to restablish ties, on the quality of your work alone. your reaction to your trauma is reasonable. your family adores you, your kids idolise you and for good reason. your cooking is actually decent
R: why are you doing that to me I did not consent to this

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R: little sister any input?
ls: you doing good
R: (metaphorical anime fall backwards emote)
R: aren't you supposed to be like, the poison words bad girl persecutor voice
ls: no, I'm supposed to make you admit hard thoughts you are suppressing

E: It's a consolation to think of that, but I guess our mystical infallible intuition failed after all. the other company rejected us in 1 day
R: yeah and despite baba assuring us that "ALL is GOOD and SUCCESS".
E: and I asked guy hey just for our information is there any feedback on which areas we could improve, and he didn't even reply to the email.
E: nyoon.
E: well let's take care of catgirl for now and keep going 😌
R: fight on~

E: huh. missed unknown number phone call, weird.

email: Hey, sorry, I'm not allowed to answer that. But I didn't stop thinking of what we could work out, tried to call you but nobody picked, I talked to the HR manager of our parent group and they're very interested. do I have your permission to forward your CV

E: 🍬🍭🍫

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E: I feel like this call went really well
E: but we felt the same the last one, and we were rejected one day later, so now it feels scary instead 🙈
R: honestly I think the feeling you get is "this guy in particular wants me~"
R: and I think you’re a good judge of that, the other guy said they decided after talking with boss
R: it’s just that this isn’t enough to get a job
R: anyway he did say we’ll get 2 more interviews so we’re still on the fight for this one, cheer up 😌

selfies, eye contact, boosts welcome, smoking 

trashy girl smokes cigarillos outside

(and yeah i know i shouldn’t and that it’s bad lol)

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Plural Café

Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.