plural, personal, - 

A loves to play videogames, but is learning to take a step back from them now and then

stay hydrated, and try and get to bed on time, that sort of stuff

But sometimes it seems like when A takes a step away from the front, our friends treat that as “we only want to talk to A, goodnight” and so only A gets to hang out, and the rest of this system doesn’t get any ramp down or discussion?

Can’t actually tell if it’s us or them?
Maybe they are feeling something similar?


plural, personal, --- 

Intrusive thoughts

No it’s just us

We’re the problem

Our changes worked out fine for like half a week

But us trying to change things upset some status quo

And we are losing friends over it

And it will get worse until our friendships give up on us

Our friendships always break down when anything changes

The only reason they ever work at all is because we don’t realize we’re being pity-friended

plural, personal, --- 

Who is even writing this?
We don’t understand
We don’t believe it
We feel it but we don’t believe it

Is this A?
Is this how A feels negative emotions?
Or is this one of the others?
Is this despair a subsystem or a behavior of a subsystem?

Are we plural?
Or is all of this something else?

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re: plural, personal, --- 

@psrt Do you think the following could work to resolve confusion?

For example, when you ask "Is this A?" the person fronting could also ask whether they can recall thoughts or actions they don't identify with.

That doesn't tell you who's fronting, but helps you to see the "identity boundaries" of the fronter. In the sense that one identity can be recognized when contrasted with another. Looking at patterns might help to see who's fronting. Like: "I'm calm and feel angry, in that other situation the fronter was calm and felt the same way and X was in charge, so I'm probably X."

re: plural, personal, --- 

@teatime I don't really know, I've been conceptualizing A as someone who comes to the front any time I get relaxed or really interested in something.

I've been picturing them as more of a template that keeps getting applied places where I start feeling comfortable, or having fun, rather than making complex decisions.

Picking apart the rushes of emotions related to A, has been the only thing I've tried to use plural language to understand.

We don't have gaps in memory, we can't tell how often we swap between A and whoever else, feels more like A and the others always have already had a recent discussion, and they consider each others' viewpoints, rather than having their own separate experiences.

"I'm going to this party so A can come out, relax, and enjoy themselves in a positive way" is one way to describe it. "A is pretty satisfied from last night, they can quiet down and let me get serious on something else for a while" is another

re: plural, personal, --- 

@teatime There's a strong sense of guesswork in all of this

We're generally more comfortable trying to squeeze things into a framework some authority has given us (Do this project. Change your behavior in this way. Wear this to work.) than trying to figure things out on our own.

A feels like they're a concept made of guesswork. Perhaps a more healthy view of this would be to assign names based on interests (videogames, crafts, romance) and downgrade "A" to how all of us act when in a positive mood.

But that feels odd and unnatural, and like we'd have to pick out a few names at once. A is an abbreviation for a name starting with A that I'm just not sharing. A's name is the only new name that's ever felt "right" to assign to ourselves, aside from a birth name, an online handle given by a sibling, and tons of throwaway handles that don't really feel like "us"

re: plural, personal, --- 

@teatime (I saw your post a few hours ago, I just thought about it and didn't reply until much later)

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