pocketwatchesandtea @pocketwatchesandtea@plural.cafe

"regrettably, you have allowed me to become an adult"

My mom told me today that she wishes she never had kids, so i told her she shouldve let me kill myself at 16 because now i dont want to anymore

Its been over 8 hours, im so fucking hungry. I had a small snack around 3:30 or 4, but god im so fucking hungry. This hasnt hapoened in a long time but god if it doesnt put me in the worst mental health state

I love when its like quarter to 3pm and everyone else is having lunch and im not allowed lunch yet bc i had breakfast after 11 lmfao
Ill have to figure something out later, and maybe restock my lil secret food stash at some point, bc theres not much in there anymore, and hasnt been much in there since the pandemic started yaaayy

Bitches be like: *makes a bad decision* *shocked that consequences exist*

Its me. Im bitches

I don't remember what I told them specifically, it felt like i was sitting back watching myself tell them. Anyways, I don't know what to make of the whole thing, but my love was kind and patient and left the skype call running so they could wake me up if i had nightmares, and that was really nice.
I don't know what's gonna come of this, if anything, but I've had a wicked headache since last night.
And also while I'm 99% sure it happened, I desperately want to believe it's fake. Or maybe I do think it's fake because I've been trained not to trust my own memory? I don't know. I guess this is just my mental health rant thread now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

And now my shit brain has decided to unrepress More trauma that i kinda....forgot about?? So for once im gonna be a fucking grown up for once and tell somebody (my partner) and see what they think

Like, they watch my insta and tumblr and facebook and often my twitter, so its just nice to have a place to vent a little? Idk if it's the right space but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm reading books and watching videos by people with DID because being friends with a system makes me want to to know Everything about it, but like...it's definitely tough. I knew it would be tough. But it's bringing up memories that I don't like, and that I'm not sure are even real? I'm not really sure, but it's weird.

Anyways, Scared Selfless is a horrific book, the author goes into really graphic detail of her abuse, and tbh I'm not sure what to make of it thus far, I'm not far into it, it was just one of the only books on my local library app about DID.

It feels wrong to me to stop reading a book about someone's trauma om the basis of it being Too Much for me, because they didn't get to take a break from it, and they had to live it.
But then, lots of people don't want to hear what happened to me because it's Too Much, and I don't hold it against them.

I jusy don't know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but my fam doesn't monitor this qccount

Hi I'm Erin, I'm a singule from BC, Canada, and I'm new to learning about plurality. I'm friends with Gemma and Maddox from the Crystal Millennium system, and I'm learning about plurality to be a better and more supportive friend to them, and an ally to the community.
I'm pansexual, mixed race, and Christian. I have depression, anxiety, ptsd, and ADHD.
My dog Milo is my best friend in the world.
I'm learning ASL, and loving it. I also am fluent in English and French, and know enough Japanese to scrape by.
And I play a buttload of different musical instruments!
I'm excited to be here and learn💖
#introduction