Pinned toot

Long, re-#introduction 

It's high time for a re- .

We're the Nightsky system and apparently we all listen to Sky collectively now - it's not like we didn't have enough different names all over web already xD (none of those are linked to our plurality tho and for now we don't want most people to know about it, so some of us use new names on here.)

We're a (probably median) system of five. We're white, don't think that's something to be proud of, mentally ill and queer. We're into video games, programming, computer graphics and electronics and dislike that all these fields are still too often dominated by men. Besides that, we enjoy making music and way too many other things.

Our hosts are:
Wind (she/her) - the person most strongly identifying with this body. She loves puns and tabletop RPGs and is currently the one who struggles with our depression most.
She integrated from Lilly, our former host, and Sara.
She'll sign posts with πŸŒ€.

Sara (she/her) - apodysphoric former keeper of our depression who learned to be happy and love life. Probably our most "mindful" member, being able to be at awe about even little beautiful things others overlook.
Integrated with Lilly to become Wind, but came back during a hard time to help out Wind as host.
She'll sign posts with 🌌.

The rest of us are:
Gotos (he/him) - former "protector" learning to be kind.
"Fictive" from a story Lilly wrote, but has been around since before that story was written. Our theory is that he actually *is* the demigod from that story and was banished without his power to this world, losing most of his memory until Lilly started writing. None of us is sure if we truly believe that, but it's definitely canon in the stories.
He's apodysphoric, gender dysphoric, but usually not all that much affected by our mental illness.
He will sign with πŸŒ‘.

Rai (they/them) - used to consider themself an antagonist to the rest of the system but decided that this is not who they want to be.
They enjoy a certain kind of aggressive music (if it has dubstep growls, a good beat and catchy melody it might just be up their alley) and keep coming back to front for it.
They'll sign with ⚑.

Firefox (she/her or they/them) - a kind and cheerful plushy and little of the system. She only ever co-fronts to get control of our voice or an arm to move her own plushy body around.
She'll sign with 🦊, if she writes here (she rarely does).

A few more remarks/explanations:
- We use the term "host" to describe members of the system that are most likely to front and to take care of most tasks. In theory, anyone who wishes to do so can become host, the rest of us just don't currently want to.
- "Apodysphoric" means having dysphoria because of a feeling that somewhere out there there is a body the apodysphoric person strongly identifies with.

Integration mentioned (not the focus of this tho) 

You now... I still often can't comprehend that I share this head with someone as cute and fun as Sara.
And then I realize that since the integration, I too have those aspects in me! It's much harder to see that I likely can be as cute and fun and even harder to allow myself to be that way. Lilly had problems with that, too, and I still have to unlearn that more. But realizing that I too have these aspects, aspects I as Lilly used to envy,... I can comprehend that even less than the fact that I've got a headmate like that xD

πŸŒ€

gender dysphoria, apodysphoria; about improving my mental health 

So I'm struggling with apodysphoria and gender dysphoria, as you may or may not know. And the gender dysphoria is... harsh, every time we look at ourselves. Every time we do that, be it in the mirror, on a selfie or what not, and I'm at least kinda co-conscious (which is pretty often), I'm... stressed.

Wind and, even more so, Sara like to dress pretty feminine. Sara would go so far as to call her style girly, and she loves it. For me tho? It's harsh. When she dresses up, that usually keeps me from fronting, but even just seeing it just feels wrong to me.
Today I realized why. It's because I feel connected enough to this body, despite the apodysphoria, that I see these reflections or images and feel like "that's me, in a dress". But in actuality, it's not.

I guess even tho I just realized this today, I already started to unlearn this. Today was the first time I was like "yeah, Sara looks cute in that dress, I guess. Suits her." It felt okay to see that. Because I managed not to think of her as "me".

I guess you can call that progress.

πŸŒ‘

There should be a way to get the warm cozy feeling of a bath or shower without getting wet

if u hug a plural system its always a group hug

Therapy (positive and mostly meta) 

Our therapist is introducing us to schema therapy and so far it's really interesting. In some ways it builds on similar concepts as our understanding of our plurality, at least in the ways she describes it.
It's fascinating cause despite similar concepts it's a vastly different view on us but to us doesn't compete with our plurality. We find schemas that cross headmate boundaries and each of us has multiple schema modes we occasionally drop into.
Schema therapy so far seems to be a good way to get another view on how the system-as-a-whole works. Some aspects can be better explained looking at it through a schema therapy lense, some through our plurality.
And our therapist is pretty excited about learning how schema therapy and plurality interact with us, which is pretty nice as well :D

πŸŒ‘

"Don't pet or distract service animals" is an unbelievably polite way to say "Stop the constant and life-threatening harassment of disabled people and their helpers."

コンビニでL2γƒ—γƒͺγƒ³γƒˆγ—γ¦γΏγŸγ€‚θ΅€γƒ‘γƒ³γƒ€γ•γ‚“γ‹γ‚γ„γ„γ€‚

Long, re-#introduction 

It's high time for a re- .

We're the Nightsky system and apparently we all listen to Sky collectively now - it's not like we didn't have enough different names all over web already xD (none of those are linked to our plurality tho and for now we don't want most people to know about it, so some of us use new names on here.)

We're a (probably median) system of five. We're white, don't think that's something to be proud of, mentally ill and queer. We're into video games, programming, computer graphics and electronics and dislike that all these fields are still too often dominated by men. Besides that, we enjoy making music and way too many other things.

Our hosts are:
Wind (she/her) - the person most strongly identifying with this body. She loves puns and tabletop RPGs and is currently the one who struggles with our depression most.
She integrated from Lilly, our former host, and Sara.
She'll sign posts with πŸŒ€.

Sara (she/her) - apodysphoric former keeper of our depression who learned to be happy and love life. Probably our most "mindful" member, being able to be at awe about even little beautiful things others overlook.
Integrated with Lilly to become Wind, but came back during a hard time to help out Wind as host.
She'll sign posts with 🌌.

The rest of us are:
Gotos (he/him) - former "protector" learning to be kind.
"Fictive" from a story Lilly wrote, but has been around since before that story was written. Our theory is that he actually *is* the demigod from that story and was banished without his power to this world, losing most of his memory until Lilly started writing. None of us is sure if we truly believe that, but it's definitely canon in the stories.
He's apodysphoric, gender dysphoric, but usually not all that much affected by our mental illness.
He will sign with πŸŒ‘.

Rai (they/them) - used to consider themself an antagonist to the rest of the system but decided that this is not who they want to be.
They enjoy a certain kind of aggressive music (if it has dubstep growls, a good beat and catchy melody it might just be up their alley) and keep coming back to front for it.
They'll sign with ⚑.

Firefox (she/her or they/them) - a kind and cheerful plushy and little of the system. She only ever co-fronts to get control of our voice or an arm to move her own plushy body around.
She'll sign with 🦊, if she writes here (she rarely does).

A few more remarks/explanations:
- We use the term "host" to describe members of the system that are most likely to front and to take care of most tasks. In theory, anyone who wishes to do so can become host, the rest of us just don't currently want to.
- "Apodysphoric" means having dysphoria because of a feeling that somewhere out there there is a body the apodysphoric person strongly identifies with.

Stealing a meme format making it's rounds on birbsite except twisted 

What isn't actually bad, but *feels* like it's bad?

(The answer: nothing. What feels bad, is bad.)

πŸŒ‘

Hey there!
Anyone got some wholesome stories/pictures/whatever they'd like to share? I'd love to hear/see them πŸ’–

🌌

Food 

It smells like Subway Cookies for some reason and now I want some.

πŸŒ‘

System meta, integration mention, mh - mention (no details), long 

It's confusing. I basically exist in this system twice now. Once as myself, once as "Wind in Sara mode".

For those how do not know: I integrated with our former host Lilly and became Wind. But in August, I became a person of my own again, without Wind "splitting". She's still me. And she's still Lilly. And she's still herself.
With her being me but also me being me, this already was pretty confusing. But lately, we realized that occasionally someone is fronting who shows a lot of traits I have or used to have (talking and thinking in English despite German being our native language, being mostly unable to talk) and feels a lot like pre-integration me to all of us.

A while ago we started considering that this is Wind being in "Sara mode", i.e. showing my old traits when feeling like I used to feel pre-integration (back then, I used to be the one holding most of our depression). So when Wind is feeling depressed, she starts feeling a lot like me.
To us, it very much feels like it is Wind fronting at those times, even tho she feels so different she doesn't usually recognize herself immediately. We're pretty sure it's not *me*-me, because I seem to struggle a looooot less with our depression today and she doesn't quite feel like me. However, I still feel like it is me. Just not, *me*-me.

So... yeah. We think it's Wind in Sara-mode, because that's just how she deals with depression. It feels so different because in most situations she feels a look like Lilly did, just because Lilly was fronting way more than I did back then. So it makes sense that Wind being in Lilly mode feels different to us from how Wind feels at other times. It makes sense that I feel like it not me, because it's Wind, not me. It also makes sense that I feel like *it is* me, because Wind is the continuation of my pre-integration "version".

But it feels very confusing.

🌌

β˜”οΈ TFW your little grabs your hand in headspace and says β€œit’s gonna be okay; people really do love you”

fellow enbies! i have a poll. please share it with ur enby pals so we can collect information

about ableism onhere in general 

re-posting this from locked (a lot of disability conversations onhere happen on locked because we've seen how disabled people get treated onhere for publicly raising any fuss):

the social cost onhere for fucking up and wrongly calling out ableism is higher than the social cost onhere for fucking up and being ableist.

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mh (- but mostly meta) 

For the first time in... Well. A long time, I guess. For the first time in a while *I* feel our depression, struggle with executive dysfunction, feel melancholic and burned out.
I can't say I never felt this way before, but at least in recent history (i.e. since we figured out we're plural) this is the first time I feel this way and am certain that these emotions are my very own - today, these are not the emotions a headmate of mine feels, strong enough to make me feel them as well, they are rooted in me.
I'm not sure why, I don't fully understand what's up. Obviously I don't feel amazing right now. But on top of feeling bad, there's this morbid curiosity. Like: I didn't think our depression impacted me much. What does this mean for me and the system at large? Why is this happening and why now?

It's... Weird. I'm really not used to this.

πŸŒ‘

Ironic question that could be the title of a light novel/short story; light lewd suggestion 

"Help, my headmate is horny but I'm ace and frontstuck, what do I do?!"

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Plural CafΓ©

Plural CafΓ© is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.