rambling nonsense that's turned into dysphoria
part of it i guess is probably because i grew up as the wrong gender. i mean, i hated most everything about being a boy growing up, and i still do. if i could like go back and experience childhood as the gender i want to be and feel i am truly, that'd make me way happier even if i still have a male body and have to transition when i'm an adult
life i guess (and just me being weird)
i want to have children, whether my own or adopted. but honestly, i never wanted to grow up, i want to go back. that's something that i can't do, sadly. so i guess that's why i want children, so i can experience childhood again, even if it's through the eyes of a parent, an outsider, i'm not the kid here. idk. people tell me to still be a kid on the inside but it's not that same whimsical feeling.
testing an instance
if i could predict broken hearts then i would
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