Lily @lily@plural.cafe

so i made this character for a webcomic i wanna do. they're a precious egg and i love them

Pink is objectively the best color.
Sorry I don't make the rules I just enforce them.

and just as i predicted, my heart is broken

aaah i want to shave my beard so much but i can't shave too much or my face gets all kinds of messed up from the razor. it's only been a day whY IS IT SO PRICKLY I HATE THIS

now i'm just feeling gender dysphoria again and it's awful that i can't even think about anything dealing with life without realizing i'm physically a male and crying about it for an hour

part of it i guess is probably because i grew up as the wrong gender. i mean, i hated most everything about being a boy growing up, and i still do. if i could like go back and experience childhood as the gender i want to be and feel i am truly, that'd make me way happier even if i still have a male body and have to transition when i'm an adult

i want to have children, whether my own or adopted. but honestly, i never wanted to grow up, i want to go back. that's something that i can't do, sadly. so i guess that's why i want children, so i can experience childhood again, even if it's through the eyes of a parent, an outsider, i'm not the kid here. idk. people tell me to still be a kid on the inside but it's not that same whimsical feeling.