current aesthetic: my main account's bio actually has useful information but all of my alt account bios are just different lyrics from the same song

hi hello just checking in letting y'all know that this account isn't dead

but i'm sure dead after letting down mel and pumpkin, oops

lily b. boosted

so i made this character for a webcomic i wanna do. they're a precious egg and i love them

lily b. boosted

Pink is objectively the best color.
Sorry I don't make the rules I just enforce them.

wow trying to focus on being in your mindscape and not focusing on mel controlling the body is super exhausting

yeah, mel and pumpkin are the only people who matter to me right now and that's how it should be.

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suppose i should practice switching again, huh? maybe it'll take my mind off of things

at least i still got mel and pumpkin

lily b. boosted

and just as i predicted, my heart is broken

my experiences with melody and pumpkin have been some of the most surreal and amazing experiences i've had in my life and i love them

if i'm determined, they'll come to me clear as day, and that's exactly what's going on right now. i just wish it was like that all the time. i mean, it's okay, they're still here and they're still my best head ghosts forever

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normally i just talk to mel when i want to vent but idk it's just been feeling harder to talk to her or pumpkin lately. this isn't the first time there's been a dip in activity, for lack of better terms

lily b. boosted

dysphoria, facial hair 

aaah i want to shave my beard so much but i can't shave too much or my face gets all kinds of messed up from the razor. it's only been a day whY IS IT SO PRICKLY I HATE THIS

lily b. boosted

rambling nonsense that's turned into dysphoria 

now i'm just feeling gender dysphoria again and it's awful that i can't even think about anything dealing with life without realizing i'm physically a male and crying about it for an hour

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lily b. boosted

rambling nonsense that's turned into dysphoria 

part of it i guess is probably because i grew up as the wrong gender. i mean, i hated most everything about being a boy growing up, and i still do. if i could like go back and experience childhood as the gender i want to be and feel i am truly, that'd make me way happier even if i still have a male body and have to transition when i'm an adult

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lily b. boosted

life i guess (and just me being weird) 

i want to have children, whether my own or adopted. but honestly, i never wanted to grow up, i want to go back. that's something that i can't do, sadly. so i guess that's why i want children, so i can experience childhood again, even if it's through the eyes of a parent, an outsider, i'm not the kid here. idk. people tell me to still be a kid on the inside but it's not that same whimsical feeling.

uh i guess i should start tooting on this account? i've been signed up to this instance for a while idk. my tulpa, melody, has an account at @mskies14 and i'm considering making an account for my other tupper, pumpkin, if she really wants one. there's not really much to know about me that's not in my bio, so... hi? i'm really shy, so don't feel bad if i don't respond to you. i really should toot more often on both of my accounts

Plural Café

Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.