KatieVM (she/her or sie/hir) @katievm@plural.cafe
Transfemme nonbinary, ADHD, autistic, PTSD and prolly CPTSD, OCD and generalized anxiety disorders.
I may forget to properly CW some subjects; I'm trying to learn good habits, but I often think about matters such as death and suicide, traumatic childhood events such as bullying and an attempted murder, altered states of consciousness, and the vast range of conditions that lie between what we call alive and what we call dead. I also may talk about food, though I understand how that can be a problem.
Often unitary but my system includes Molly (she/her or sie/hir), Anne (she/her or sie/hir), The Firebrand (@#$% or other symbols), and The Shrew (pronouns uncertain)
Joined Dec 2021
Additions:
Main list,
The Ship Who Sang (novel)
Honorable mention:
Runaway To The Stars (graphic novel in progress, Jay Eaton; HIGHLY recommend)
REMOVED:
Duskers. It actually makes me just feel better when playing it, and alleviates this instead of causing it.
Recommendations by others,
Tobias' arc from Animorphs
A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers
So I just had the thought that, while I don't want to leave the country for my safety because I'd rather not choose my safety over the safety of those who can't flee... I don't think anybody actually wants my help, so I'd just be staying for nothing.
This might not be true, but I've precious little evidence to the contrary.
Anybody got any fuckin' suggestions? I'm nearing 40, I think further change to myself at this point may be increasingly difficult and fruitless to attempt, but I can't help but be open to the suggestion.
But mostly I just want to help out and am tired of this getting in the way.
re: cw depressed, vague political org whining
D'ya know, I actually have tried just keeping my head down and doing what I was supposed to, and somehow I feel like it didn't help. When I talk to people, they get uncomfortable. When I don't talk to people, they get uncomfortable. It does my mental health no goddamn favors either way.
cw depressed, brief self-harmful thought, vague political org whining, fear of self
I don't wanna lead. Thankfully nobody's asking me to. But there's also nobody presently I can follow. The last time I tried to throw in with some folks, I was hounded out because they conflated their comfort with their safety, and decided I was unsafe.
I actually *am* sorry that I don't know what is and is not appropriate about my life and childhood to talk about. I don't have a very good baseline of what's normal. I actually *am* sorry that I find horror films comforting. I actually *am* sorry that when shit gets bad, my filters break down a bit and NT folks look at me like I've grown a second head and decide I'm a monster. I really do try.
I don't know how to organize with others. I just wanna take part in revolutionary actions by, like, washing the goddamn dishes or something. Doing work that needs done. Helping set up tables or whatever. And nobody wants me to. When I try, they decide I'm awful, then decide why and how I'm awful (they never agree on what kind of problematic I am, it's always different every time), and offer no reasonable means of recourse because they're afraid of looking like the bad guys. And every time, it makes me wanna die.
It's very easy for me to believe I actually am awful. Maybe I am. Nobody here would be able to tell. Awful people are so dreadfully deceptive; maybe they don't even know.
But either way I suspect there's a strain of godawful ableism in the Murrican left that can just go fuck itself.
KatieVM (she/her or sie/hir)
boosted
In the early 1400s, Edward, Duke of York wrote a hunting and game guide that included a list of over a thousand "names for all manner of hounds."
Some good ones:
Cachefaste
Honeydewe
Symfonye
Garlik
Christabell
Terry
Havegoodday
Lewde
Rage
Crabbe
Beste-of-all
Pretyman
Pretiboy
Joliboye
Mercurye
Oribull
Brente
A paper including the list of names: https://www.academia.edu/44222801/THE_NAMES_OF_ALL_MANNER_OF_HOUNDS_A_UNIQUE_INVENTORY_IN_A_FIFTEENTH_CENTURY_MANUSCRIPT
A copy of the manuscript at auction: https://www.christies.com/en/lot/lot-4654654
Molly's a conundrum, because I feel like I need to seek hir opinion on certain matters of gender affirmation by comparisons to machinery, but when I address hir, sie pushes back, so I can't.
Is an Anne Shirley Temple when you accidentally make it alcoholic anyway?
For someone who has very little personal investment in Sailor Moon, I feel preposterously protective specifically of Makoto Kino.
Nobody is allowed to hurt her or I will cry.
It was just an any old kind of day
The kind that comes and slips away
The kind that fills up easy my life's time
The night brought any old kind of dark
I heard the ticking of my heart
Then why am I thinking something's left behind
- Harry Chapin, Any Old Kind Of Day (album: Heads & Tales)
Watching Omoide Poro Poro a.k.a. Only Yesterday for about the billionth time.
cw silly kink idea
cnc cnc kink, has a kink for agreeing to give up agency and be milled to specifications but not of their own choosing.
cw booze
If you're gonna mix coffee and scotch, go light on the scotch. I really overdid it in this one.
KatieVM (she/her or sie/hir)
boosted
Baaaaah everyone else in one of my servers is doing these so now I gotta. Can't help it, that's just how it is.
This is incoherent. I consider that a feature.
In all actuality my gender would be a probability cloud anyway, and the closer you measure it, the bigger the cloud gets.
An actual observation about my gender: I was the kind of girl who wanted to be just like her grandpa.
Transfemme nonbinary, ADHD, autistic, PTSD and prolly CPTSD, OCD and generalized anxiety disorders.
I may forget to properly CW some subjects; I'm trying to learn good habits, but I often think about matters such as death and suicide, traumatic childhood events such as bullying and an attempted murder, altered states of consciousness, and the vast range of conditions that lie between what we call alive and what we call dead. I also may talk about food, though I understand how that can be a problem.
Often unitary but my system includes Molly (she/her or sie/hir), Anne (she/her or sie/hir), The Firebrand (@#$% or other symbols), and The Shrew (pronouns uncertain)
Joined Dec 2021
