The MT System @kaminohana@plural.cafe

oh as a sidenote because its awkward to say "host" all the time or saying a name, I Phos the host am now going to be referred to as "OP". err, when that becomes a conflict in context we'll try to be clearer.

Alaina (hoodie): I'm Alaina, she/her/hers. I'm just hanging 'round, taking things one at a time. I don't like people dragging me into their conflicts, yet if you need me to stand up for you, I got it. I identify as a girl but have a very androgynous style. In the head space, I have the most neutral energy, I'd guess. Sometimes a voice of reason. Xiang is my boyfriend

Penelope (sleeveless): Helloooooo! I realize I take up a lot of the headspace, hahaha. I've been around for a LONG time, and supposedly have the most development in my story? Like, I was gonna be the protag even when there wasn't one. Dilius is my other half, and I live with him! Uh, people ask what we have a lot and, um, I'm not really sure. Still figuring that out. She/her, ace, sono italiana! I love adventure, skydiving, etc. I'm friends with a lot of people and love making new ones. Oh! I also front a lot for exercising since I love to do that too. I've trained with multiple weapons and fighting styles!

Xia (horns): I'm Xia Tang, and sometimes the people here have a tendency to make a portmanteau of it as Xiang, but I'd prefer you didn't. Or not. I don't care honestly, it's just my name. I'm big on MMORPGs, but only in the mindspace. Host doesn't play too many. If you want good memes I can at least give you that. I prefer dark and monstrous visuals and could probably make a good JRPG if the host bothered to learn the programming.

Kalteni (bunny): Heya! Nice to meet you. I'm Kalteni, but some of the others refer to me as Mrs. Kalteni, since I'm a teacher to most. These aren't just kemonomimi- I'm really a rabbit! But like, whatever you know? Fun fact: I ride a moped! But in the mindspace, you know? Not in the host's body. Not the right place for it. I'm holding the word "shit" in Italian because it WAS the right place for it. Someone you'll meet later, L.U., is my wife and I love teasing her. I tease everyone here. Also close to Kidoko, my roommate. Down to talk any time!

Yana (blond hair): I'm Yana Rosso. My hobbies are working out, forest exploring, and brewing coffee, maybe. But listen, I don't drink it because I NEED to, unlike some people. You need to appreciate coffee, not guzzle it down like Pepto Bismol. Anyway. Valka and I are pretty close, I'd say. Like sisters. I'm a fairy but I don't like pointing it out. It's a bit of a sore subject. Dylan, who'll you'll meet later, is my best friend and if you mess with him you will get THESE FISTS!!! Valka is like my kid sister too, so don't bother her.

Valka (black hair): Hello! I'm Valka Rania, but Valka is fine! I live with Yana, and I'm doing my best to perfect my skills in magic. It's tough work, but it's what I really want to do, so I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the snow- I grew up in it! I used to be a princess but well, things didn't turn out so well. That's okay- I've come to enjoy the new life I have living with Yana. I'm Buddhist but also have a deep appreciation for Hinduism.

sorry for being a little ignorant here, but whats the literary genre for what you'd consider hurt/comfort? i really want to engage with media that has some pretty traumatized people who go about the healing process. id really like that kind of catharsis but it feels like when the trauma gets too dark its just tragedy

i really want media that acknowledges the heavy shit while still saying theres room for love (self, from others, etc)
any recommendations?

im sooo obsessed with jack stauber's opal, if this had come to me not 2 years earlier i wouldnt have been into it but i can just. appreciate so much about it. not only the impressive claymation but the whole story. its so good.

used to be annoyed that every song back in the day was a love song, and yknow as a child couldnt relate, but now as im going through all my favs as an adult, theyre all about

depression

how the times change

Does anyone else have what we call "protagonist syndrome" in our system? It's where a given member finds they're fronting the most often, and naturally in doing so they gain more development, maybe go on an emotional journey, and everyone else is left behind. there's some bitterness left by those who want to front, and the main fronter feels guilt for being out and basically being their own person. it's hard to say if this comes from the subject or the spectators, but the focus remains mostly on just the one for a period. usually, though, it feels very invalidating to the fronter since all they're doing is existing. does anyone else have this?

im watching Jim Henson's The Storyteller and i almost cried bc this man was hugging a griffin in order to scritch his back and i was overwhelmed with tf of "god i wish that were me"

today's gender is vanilla oat milk

heat is in the three digits for fahrenheit...time to self-quarantine again

Yana, noticing the general state of the headspace: It feels like the End of Evangelion in here

Clara: okay, my brain is operating at 4 frames per second right now, i cant watch castlevania

me, after just having a breakdown involving heavy crying and hyperventilating: maybe i should watch more of Castlevania Alucard having sex and ill feel better

to be clear, im not trying to tell anyone anything about dissociation. please dont take this as advice, it's just a vent of my feelings

"dont dissociate, its not good for you and disconnects you from reality, which can impact memory recall and x and y thing later"
i just. dont care. i dont have a suffcient support system in reality. the people who were ride or die with me are leaving me behind. no one does anything beyond superficial hangouts. im alone. ive tried to go out and socialize more, to try and actively build those bonds, and maybe its my fault for having such warped expectations due to past excessive dissociation but its not that appealing. im revolted and though ive SEEN examples of interactions id love to have and things id love to discuss with others, i never get those opportunities. it is SO fucking exhausting putting in the effort on your end and receiving none of what you need in support. therapy by its nature cant provide the support i need. i dont care that i do weed all the time; what the fuck else do i do? my cognition is still good enough to do everything as well as before.
i put in so much fucking work not just into one thing but everything and never get engaging interaction. there isn't shit out here that i want right now. its all so surface level. my soul is dying, withering because those in my outside reality arent there where i need them. each day, without fail, i see myself being pushed farther and farther away from people against my will.
i feel like everyone is leaving me outside. and then they ask me for more.
all the alters are constantly in romantic escapades so we can fill some sort of hole left behind by this. but even thats not good enough. this whole rant just seems like a thoughtless, greedy person whining about not being the center of attention but i truly dont have anyone i can rely on. those who maybe could cant accept me as i am (trans, plural, etc). and it makes me a bitter person who doesnt want to do anything for those happy people for whom its nothing off their back whether or not im involved in their life
i just want engaged, fulfilling relationships

this is also why i worry so often about being told off (even if i wont be) for just saying random stuff in plural spaces. like people are going to tell me it's not relevant or not productive to the general discussion
its relevant to us to be able to act ourselves and not be ignored or alienated for it, which a lot of plural folks have reported experiencing in singlet-dominated spaces when they come out. its frustrating.

sometimes we struggle with community being plural because it feels like a lot of plural discussion is based on the concepts of plurality and are solely about the state of being plural, but we want to be able to just talk about anything in the CONTEXT to our plurality. like about a relatable feeling, but only as it exists being felt by this one alter, or a funny meme that was made, but only because one alter made it about another.

so either our opinions and talks feel out of place in plural discussion spaces or they feel out of place in the general singlet sphere

it reminds me how a lot of trans representation was in media where their trans identity was the plot. like i think i just want these things normalized

Had a breakthrough realization that the reason many couples in our system have communication difficulties is because one is a traumaholder and the other isnt

leading to one person feeling like they cant properly be there for the other

its moments like these that help me legitimize my plural identity at the least....

you know, pre pandemic, i always wanted to start a cuddling business. i love touch so much, and i know a lot of people who want to be cuddled (even fine being cuddled by strangers), but a lot of times people have put up society-enforced walls that prevent them from even asking for it. thats why i wanted to have a business for it, so people can feel their request is legitimized. also so i have more excuses to do that. i just really love the idea of comfort-based jobs and ive seen that few people really jump on this opportunity.

i know there's the warning of boundaries, but that would be a point of mandatory discussion beforehand so each person is clear on what is or isn't acceptable to do. man, maybe this is more of a pipedream than anything, but in my heart i really want to make it work and think it could help so many people, including myself.

despite No Longer Human having some of the most generally triggering content ive read, i feel im compelled to keep reading because the protagonist's main mental struggle is one that we relate to and are incredibly happy to see discussed instead of collecting dust in our collective minds (a deeply rooted sense of imposter syndrome, of seeing shallowness in others and fearing our true flawed thoughts coming to light). this is one of those examples where I'm fine exposing myself to difficult content if only to find companionship in this particular perspective. sure its heavy but its got WISDOM

Ako: hey, Dilius, lets just sit and talk
Dilius: Sure

-20 minutes later-

Ako: so i just feel these ways sometimes.
Dilius: you do realize you just clearly defined some of the most prevalent system trauma, right

Dilius: what happened last night
Ako: I don't know but I don't think I slept
Nana: This was fun ❤
Dilius: So what are we
Ako: I'm not going to answer that question

Hello everyone! Alter names sometimes change over the years. We've had a few changes ourselves- would anyone like to share any stories of name transitions? :D
-Dilius