Ugh, dealing with emotions is so difficult. I can't tell if what I'm feeling is me feeling it or if it's them giving passive influence that's making me feel it, not to mention this feeling is wholly new to me in this life so I don't even know if it is what I think it is, and just ugh why am I always ending up in situations that are difficult to explain to anybody outside of the community? I don't exactly have any close system friends, and how is one supposed to talk about this subject anyway?
(I might have a crush on the host? Or they might have a crush on me? Or it might be something else? I'm so confused)
invalidation, discussion of the clinical side of the community
I'm actually kinda sick of how often my experiences are called fake - either to me directly or via proxy. Even if I say "I don't know what this is, but it feels like X", so long as X isn't an Officially Used Term, I'm considered to be spreading dangerous misinformation and treated with hostility
And then there's some words I'm simply uncomfortable with applying to myself, but so much of that side of the community is like "If you don't like this word then you're a fake"
Maybe fusion feels like the best way to describe what I'm experiencing, it being much different than what I refer to as blurring. Maybe the term "parts" makes me feel invalid, as if the people within me helping me out are just shards or puzzle pieces instead of their own person. Maybe the use of my own term that I made myself doesn't immediately make me an endo faker
Co-front blurring is weird, it's like being synced up with someone. Like, drift stuff in Pacific Rim? I never watched that actually. It's tricky to figure out where I stop and Jy starts, it's just a big blurry mess but we're still separate enough to be ourselves it isnt like some kind of fusion like Jy themselves is. It's odd
System of ~140. Will mark most posts with [poster: <name>]
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