Searching for good resources on plurality.
I have the strong feeling I am not alone "in here". But I find it hard to tell. It looks quite foggy when I take a peek inside.
There are fleeting thoughts and urges every now and then that feel like they belong to some different person. Often I feel (retrospectively) that I am cutting myself off, somehow.
I would like voice those impulses more, understand them better. Or to facilitate some communication, if there is somebody or something to communicate with.
Found some websites that are over a decade old, and those were a nice starting point. But there must be something newer I am entirely missing. Happy about any hint! #AskMastodon #plurality #multiplicity
English neopronoun set i just thought of now for when u are No Self
Hello! Today I met a being who goes by [Name]. No has a wonderful personality. That smile of nors really makes me happy. I could talk to non all day although No doesn't talk about nonself much. I wonder if nor day has been good. I hope so!
Me, host: about to cry bc im having a bad week and the dentists are pokin my mouth and it hurts
dentist: now we need to suck up all this saliva
luciela (systemmate): lel succ that saliva ;))))
dentist: wow, we're fitting a lot of instruments in your mouth
luciela: oh honey this is NOTHING ive taken more
dentist: wow you sure produce a lot of saliva
luciela: its all incorporated into my technique ;)
shes literally the only thing that stopped me from crying
also as you can imagine this all went down in the headspace id KILL her if she spake these forbidden words to my dentist
Manic episode, police mention, self harm mention (not me)
So last night I had a manic episode
Usually this doesn't bother me because it's usually just because of sleep deprivation
But this one wasn't. This once was just a completely awake no reason to happen manic episode
And that scares me
Mania is a big trigger for me and the fact that it just happened outside of what it usually does for me is terrifying. I can't stop thinking about an old friend who had frequent manic episodes, and would send me sh pics on impulse.
A friend tried to call the cops because they were worried we were going to hurt ourselves, but they didn't know my address. I probably should have told them but I want to make it until tomorrow, that's when my psych appointment is.
I'm sure I can make it until then
Nightmare, guns, attempted murder, hospitalization, mental hospital, police. (Part 2/2)
And Lizzie (a newly formed alter, not only in the dream but also a real alter, doesn't know we are a system) fronted in the hospital after I got admitted
So the hospital got suspicious and eventually we were taken to this big skyscraper that 3 floors of were a resedental
And we basically lost the ability to have any control at all (we currently have very little but it's enough that we can get through the day) over switching and would switch very often
So we basically got stuck there for life because we had no family and were deemed unable to live by ourselves
But an investigative reporter visited to learn more about the whole story with my mum and brother, and we became friends and agree visited lots
But I really hated that nightmare and I can still feel pain where I was shot in it
Nightmare, guns, attempted murder, hospitalization, mental hospital, police. (Part 1/2)
I had a horrible nightmare last night
It started out with my mum, brother, and us doing something illegal and escaping the police
But then I had to come back here for some reason
And the police found me
And my mum told my to try and run but if I get shot to make sure it is fatal
I ran and got shot in the lower back, it was really painful and I almost passed out
And then my mum came up and shot me in the back around where my heart is
But I still didn't die and instead ended up in hospital
So in the span of 6 months I've gone from "absolutely the gender I was assigned at birth" to "there is no gender, it's all a huge conspiracy by Big Deodorant™️" #agender
Honestly, sometimes reading back on what other alters have said is terrifying. We have this new alter who doesn't know she's part of a system yet, and two of our friend were trying to explain it to her, and right as she was just getting to the acceptance stage it was like she reset and forgot everything she had been taught by them, she even said it was nice meeting them even though she's known then for about a week now.
It just terrifies me that our brain can do something like that, just hide all her memories so that she doesn't think she's part of a system
A system of 8, though some don't know and some are too young for this
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