Pinned toot

As far as I can tell, my gender is
'comfy sweatpants lady after yoga talking on the phone'
'sensitive boy wearing leather jacket standing in the rain'
'mysterious elegant stranger at a party dressed in black'
'gay theatre teacher doing warm up stretches in rainbow leggings'


Pinned toot

I don't think I've actually made an intro on here yet.

Hi. My name is Beyond and I'm part of Clovers. I'm a post-fictive, I'm a reaper, and I am 19 years old. I've been here the longest, aside from the host, and I recently became official co-host. It's a process. I hate socks and capitalism. I like weed, strawberries and magical girl anime. I do crossword puzzles and I want to learn how to draw. Maybe buy a ukelele. Not sure yet.

🅱️​ut anyway, hi. I'm 🅱️​eyond.

It's time again for my annual 19th Birthday. Happy 🅱️​irthday to me.

It was actually 5/22, but it's okay. I can still say it, even Beyond my Birthday.


unsanitary, gross Show more

Less than 24 hours til we sign for our new apartment. Finally going to be free of this place. No more being jumped by a tiny goblin dingo every time we go downstairs, no more dog piss smell, no more asshole roommates stealing our food and breaking our shit, no more using a fucking wrench to turn on the shower, no more immature, inconsiderate, passive-aggressive bullshit. It's finally done and we never have to see these fucking people again outside of work. 🅱️​

Yeah, I’m married

I’m also currently
Evading Sheriffs
Deputies due to several illegally imported snakes

the use of a colon can really change the meaning of a sentence

for instance, I have three toys in my desk: a Troll doll, a Koosh ball, and a Slinky

as opposed to

I have three toys in my colon: a Troll doll, a Koosh ball, and a Slinky

americans only. everyone else don't read Show more

What if a cop went undercover in a gang and realized the gang was nothing but other undercover cops and the original gang's membership was phased out in the late 70's.

Me, sitting between my Spanish degree and certificate from the Universidad de Salamanca, reading a scientific article in Spanish, blasting Spanish radio: Okay, but what if I'm actually faking being bilingual.

flash fiction assignment (silly) Show more

Like, a native Spanish speaker would probably have a hard time understanding Spanish spoken in such a thick American English accent.

Phone menus are like

For help in English press one

Pear a eye you duh in Espaniel, optimus prime-o in numbero dose.


mental health, auditory hallucinations Show more

medical, emeto Show more

OK so hear me out on this. Siren sounds, car horn sounds and general traffic sounds should never, ever, ever be played as part of a radio broadcast or commercial, and all songs that do should have radio edits where they don't. That shit is confusing as all hell and fucking dangerous because you can't tell if it's IRL or not. Stop that shit right now.

PSA, please boost! If you take testosterone as a shot, one thing you need to watch out for is the vial "crystalizing". I was warned about this, but had no idea what it looked like until my vial was quite advanced. I've attached photos so others know what the crystals look like. The crystals will dissolve if you gently warm it up by putting it in your pocket for 5-10 minutes. If they don't, it's time to get a new vial.

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Plural Café

Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.