Cassia @cassiabell@plural.cafe

✨ so our system doesn’t usually struggle with memory issues. Over the past week I, a person in a system, decided that meant I wasn’t a system and tried to “snap out of it” to convince myself that the other parts aren’t real.

...and now we have memory issues. Turns out if you tell people they’re not real they act out 🙃

@cassiabell but I was complimented on being a Jill of all trades today and was able to give credit to the entire system, so that’s nice at least!

🚿 we are at the “I will tell one coworker we exist every time the host insists we are fake” part of system discovery, apparently.

...you ever have severe ideation for so long that you get bored of it?

@cassiabell anyway, took a mental health day because wow, turns out trying to make your system disappear makes folks really, really angry and sad

✨you know, the therapist mentioned there were “curiosities” about our system. Maybe this is all in my head. What if I ignored everyone until they went away?

Everyone: *cracks knuckles* time to learn you a lesson.

Knocking on wood here, but this may be the first week in months that we haven’t met a new part or uncovered some repressed trauma 😄

Feels like the more we recognize and accept that we are a system, the more dysfunctional we become :(

Why lookin here, it’s time for our favorite new thing of system life: calm everyone down enough that we can put in a day at the office.

Legit worst month we’ve experienced since we started transition in 2008, here. Maybe this will be the week we don’t need a new, traumatized fragment with some deeply-hidden trauma to share. Probably not though.

Love 2 wake up as a confused 3-year old with intense body memories of 1) being held down and 2) dogs.

Would love to meet a part that, like, had an intense memory about some amazing ice cream or a ball pit or something but ope, nope, let’s just writhe in bed and moan for a half hour, that’s where the real fun is. 🙃

🎵The best part of waking up

Is a new voice in your head~~~

All I want for Christmas is to not meet new parts holding onto traumatic memories.

And maybe if someone’s feeling nice, a day without a flashback?

@cassiabell 🚿 in my defense she is EXTREMELY cute. :)

🌑 ...huh. There’s this long chat log on discord with a cute enby, and there’s an audio file here—

🚿 OUTTA MY WAY THATS THE TAIL IM CHASING

Cool, gotta love that moment when some moderately benign thing in an anime triggers a flashback.

🚿You know December is gonna be a bad one when the two co-hosts of the system decide to fuck off until January.

We will be fine, but gosh, do those two HATE the holidays.

So ♟ went to Ikea yesterday to buy stuff for a renovation and to buy some last-minute presents for systemmates. The best gift he got for the system wasn't on any list, and he gave it to us as soon as he got home. It was a new paring knife. One of us used our current knife in an attempt the host made last year and we just kept holding onto it..

We've kept it around for a year because 1) it's an ok knife and 2) doing something about it meant we would have to admit that it happened,. But this kiddo, he walked past the kitchen section and just took care of it. No judgment, just "you've been meaning to do this, yw." <3

There are days where being a system feels like way too much. But on days like this? We feel like we can make it work.

☔️cool. Just met the part that carries memories of my emotionally absuive ex. This should be fun

We were today years old when we learned that Left at London is plural but it is SENDING US https://youtu.be/-OsVvKB_YiY

Odd, "does anyone else" question here.

🚿🌑 we were talking with a group of friends today that know about our plurality. And privately, we act pretty overtly, right? Hal puts on the deep voice, I'm a frilly girl, the whole nine. But the _second_ a new person came in we started masking like the host.

this person also knows about my plurality, but still, mask up _immediately._. anyone else have this experience? We're kind of sad we didn't get to be ourselves while chatting.