*makes a phone call*
*narrator voice calls out from the heavens*
"Elite level task completed, beginning cooldown. 3 weeks remaining"

what if
DnD character with a homebrew ADHD mechanic

anime being excessively anime 

some dude: "hey this is a good anime"
me, an naive fool: "oh cool"
the anime, 1 minute 20 seconds in: hentai

"call girlfriend"

"okay, i am calling mogo support"

"wait no stop STOP"

A typical European car is parked 92% of the time. It spends 1/5th of its driving time looking for parking. Its 5 seats only move 1.5 people. 86% of its fuel never reaches the wheels, & most of the energy that does, moves the car, not people.

life's greatest mysteries:
what is space made of?
do souls exist?
what other life exists out there?
why the fuck am i still awake 7 hours after i nearly passed out on the couch?

we may never know the answers..

my writing looks like the scrawlings of a toddler on a sugar high

like if you agree
share if you don't

i never thought the words "babe, is this capable of being read?" would ever come out of my mouth but here we are!

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y'all ever just write something, like, with a pen, on a paper, using your actual hands,

and the only thing you can think afterwards is "dear god i hope whoever sees this is good at reading minds cuz fuck, i don't know if they'll figure this out"

forecast: light rain

real: torrential downpour

me: "OK google, you're a goose"

google home: "do you know who's doing a good job? you!"

watching anime on my own is measured in seasons per day

watching anime with my bf is measured in episodes per month

games that embrace loot boxes 

me: drives a car 2 miles

Apex Legends: "congratulations! you have just unlocked a new tracker so now you can see how far you've driven in your *rolls a dice, spins a wheel, consults RNGesus* M1A2 Abrams!"

me: "but i don't even have the ability to get near one, let alone drive one. also when can i see how far I've driven my car?"

Apex Legends: *rolls dice* "dunno but it's not now, dice says so"


it's 4 in the morning and i want to sleep but my body wants to run around and my brain wants to do everything except sleep

ADHD in a nutshell 

me: "i need to do the thing"
brain: "i'm so fucki'mg,,, BORED"
me: "brain please i'm hungry"

The only nation I identify with is procrastination

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Plural Café

Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.