Linux as computer neurodivergence
Linux is like neurodivergence for computers:
- Does things differently from Windows and Mac
- Does some things noticeably better than the mainstream options, but needs workarounds or alternatives to do other things
- You can make it look or act a lot like another OS, but it's still not that OS (masking)
- There's no one Linux; distros are all different, but they're all some flavor of Linux
Are we the first to think of this? Definitely not. Do we love it? Yes.
C: even as a baby, isn’t it? you used to see angels on the trees?
C: "can't you see them, momma? they're right there! up there!"
C: creeped the hell out of her rofl
E: omg you’re right
E: completely forgot about that one, wow
E: no matter how many times this happens (and it 's happening a lot since the thing), this never ceases to feel weird. another lost memory GET
E: just a complete blank in your mind then suddenly boom, a memory
R: we don’t actually remember the thing itself, it’s a memory of mom telling us about it
R: "figures, right? I guess they only appear to children", she said
C: those weren’t really angels in real life, of course
C: they were fae
R: I mean I don't think you have anything to worry about
R: we already have been seeing things and hearing voices since forever, since way before covid
E: yeah, point
E: I guess everything’s fine then 😌
E: was gifted IKEA RGB wifi glowpears
(glowpear is German for "lamp")
already thinking of which qabbalist algorithms to code magickal numbers in and output a random colour so I turn on the room's lamp and it's like "oh it's a magenta day, gotta watch my back" or whatever nonsense I end up coming up with then taking entirely seriously :>
still about possession vs. plurality
"yeah my [Pombagira Maria] Padilha is so sweet, a lady, really"
"really? haha can we switch please? my Padilha is like, [sound of punching palm] girl leaves no stone unturned"
"in our dynamic I'm actually the one who gives people a good ranty talking-to, my Padilha comes to like take care of the ones who need 😌"
"ooh maybe that's why Padilha is so calm with her, the 'gira prob figures like, aw yiss this sister is already well on her way, doesn't need a push..."
R: Listening to umbanda podcasts, at this point being part of this culture already feels totally normal and everyday for us and there's nothing unusual at all in people discussing the finer points of their respective possessing spirits.
E: But then it occurred to me, how, like, stable and healthy and accepted it is, to have multiple people in one body in my culture? Like, in which contexts can atheist Europeans openly talk about their headmates and have it just accepted as a normal everyday thing? The plural community, basically, plus some other friendly adjacent subcultures. I find it much harder to be out about being plural than being trans; even within the trans culture, I can't shake the impression that some people just stopped talking to us after we broke this multiple-egg, or still do but conspicuously avoid acknowledging it.
R: whereas within my native culture it's like, "ooh I just love my neighbors' pombagira, every time I knew she was fronting his body I'd run to his house just to talk to her, she's such a darling." "aw that's cute! more coffee?"
R: Once again I have to wonder how much of the "distress" associated with multiplicity itself (as opposed to lingering damage from trauma) is due to lack of a social context where it's acknowledged positively.
gosh the rebound. how *different* it feels, being different people. how do you even put it in words? being different people, the feeling of it. even now it's a bit mind-blowing, how we jump from thing to thing to thing switching fluidly and how different it feels in the body and this kind of whiplash effect, I can't really find a good way to relate it. I'm Ramona. I'm not sad at something Elilla was, a few minutes ago. the sadness bounces in the body without target, becomes not sadness anymore but just a bouncing ball of nameless emotional energy. I don't think this makes sense. but it makes so much sense – we still feel like it's cringe, it's made up (C: I don't mona)... ...but at the same time it feels so right, isn't this how we operated the whole time too? was big bro multiple people too? (C: yup) (E: I was there o/) it's just so natural. being able to be more than one person. how depressing, how claustrophobic it was to constantly try to force all of us into a single-person mold. it wasn't quite as bad as trying to be a guy, but was up there. how much more full of possibilities life looks like when we can pick multiple characters, switch the party lead at will...
Been talking to each other more lately and working on interacting with ourselves in a more considerate way instead of dismissing each other's problems (which is a recurring issue for us). Getting better at it! Had a good talk with a syskid today about self-esteem and how doing your best is the most anyone can ask.
Almost forgot- we got our first vaccination against COVID today! A local college messed up and had more doses than they had students, so they were giving them out for free to anyone who came in.
It's at least few weeks before most people are allowed to get vaccinated here through normal means (including us despite having a preexisting condition that puts us at higher risk), so being given the chance was a pleasant surprise. Guaranteed to get the second dose as well!
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