Barkeep @Barkeep@plural.cafe

i'm here to snuggle bunnies and destroy capitalism,
but there's so many bunnies omg plz help me snuggle them

*ahem*

i'm buny

my experience with ADHD as a child feels so, so much different than what others with ADHD say..

maybe that's just because I had teachers that were surprisingly good for people with ADHD and classmates who were determined to be on good terms with me. like all throughout middle school and high school, my teachers accommodated me and while i wasn't really a popular person, i was never bullied or teased because. hell, when i changed schools, my teachers at my old school even gave a heads up to my teachers at the new school and told them about how i learn and how to accommodate me.

it honestly hurts to see that this just isn't everyone's experience, and I really only just started to think about all this. I really wish the world was more accepting and accommodating of neurodiverse people, though from what I heard from my old teacher, the best teacher I ever had, that's the way it's heading. at the very least, that's how it is heading here.

🐰 this person is nice and i love them
🌺 you met them seconds ago and all they did was pat you
🐰 they are perfect and amazing

"holy fucking jesus shit fuck what the hell????" is my new favourite phrase

💿

The author let me know they're trying to fix their anonymization process. I linked them to a paper showing that removing labels is insufficient.

I suppose we'll see what happens next.

Good news, folks. I was just informed they took down the archives.

jokes probably been made before but

fae asks for your name, you give them your deadname
they think theyve won, then with a smile you say "im finally free"

alternatively wheres our trans ally fae who visits trans folks if they leave out offerings to take their deadname for them

it's always a nice feeling when you know that someone took the time to read some resources you sent their way and educate themselves

🐰 i am simple buny
i see cute animals, i bap the boost button

If you claim to be a community that includes plurals in your discussions, but you only ever give us the means to talk about ourselves as a system and never give room for the potential for just one person in a system participating without the rest?

That's as pluralphobic as denying that there's a system at all.

Individual plurans are not our whole systems and deserve to be considered regular individual people. If we aren't able to participate as individuals, it's erasure of the fact that we are individuals.

I need other queers to queer it up with and just kinda sit around and do queer stuff together being queer

the irony of 2020 being the first year where i don't have 20:20 vision

💿 Phoebe calls electric blankets "happy blankets" #PhoebunFacts

When we base our identities in trauma, we have often already hindered our healing processes.

Because if you ever heal, then what of the identity you based around all the pain you felt? What of the communities built around circlejerking about trauma (not the same as support groups) and the friends made there?

If you're not suffering anymore, then the identity built around that crumbles and you have to find new groups that aren't about suffering. And that's hard. Which makes people very reluctant to actually learn how to heal, especially when some groups subtly discourage it.

You know, it's been bothering me that all of the pro-contrapoints takes I've seen have been focused on the validity of the complaints folks have about her. People believe those things for a reason, and even if you don't think they're correct you still shouldn't just dismiss the harm they felt. If you don't understand why people are feeling one particular way or reading something different into the situation than you are, that's a great opportunity to ask and learn, not to express astonishment that yours is not the only perspective in the world.

🐰 floaty buny drifting through the clouds~
💿 Phoebe we're in a car
🐰 flooaaaaaty buny
💿 we're in a car and on a mountain this is not floating
🐰 *floats off bunily*

Self-diagnosis is okay.
Looking at the ICD/DSM, talking to people diagnosed with it, researching and *finding that this is what your life is like* is okay.
You don't have to go to a doctor, you don't have to experience every single minor symptom, you don't have to "always had it". No.
If you find something that explains everything perfectly and that is what you need, then diagnose yourself.

If you need specific accommodations, talk to a doctor or otherwise medical professional, because that's something the system needs. If you find that their advice isn't helpful, talk to the next one. Talk to everyone until you find someone who understands.

I also don't always have the energy to follow that advice, but it still influences my way of approaching the journey to health.

Plural Café says trans rights!

🐰 *sits*
i am smol and i am r o u n d