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plural.cafe instance meta (rules rewrite) 

Hello folks! @starfall speaking, we spent some time yesterday rewriting the rules section with an eye on making paragraphs shorter and our values more explicit.

They haven't taken effect yet; the draft can be seen at hackmd.io/@starfall/plural-caf

Some things are added to the old rules, not just reworded:

* "blatant advertising" -> "corporate advertising", with a specific exception for self-promotion
* explicitly sex and kink positive, but these must still be content warned appropriately
* explicitly sex worker positive, give or take some legal requirements
* required content warnings section added, with some of the most common triggers we know of
* some changes to the bot account policy - bots must be opt-in, not opt-out, automated posts shouldn't be on public
* more explicit federation policy around suspending some servers that don't block servers we suspend

Feel free to comment and suggest changes here or @ us directly.

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medical 420, chronic pain mention 

i had an online consultation to see if i could be a candidate for a medical marijuana card and this doctor wasted no time, believed me right away, and spent more time discussing how weed could help and how it would best be taken for my condition than seeing if I was "legit"
best doctor ever omg, and not because of specifically weed. i felt taken seriously for the first time in my life for my chronic pain

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things are bad and I'm tired but there's a cat lying right next to me licking their feet

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my manager spelled my deadname so wrong it become a cool gender neutral one
fuck it, ill take it!

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faking, system dysregulation 

✨you know, the therapist mentioned there were “curiosities” about our system. Maybe this is all in my head. What if I ignored everyone until they went away?

Everyone: *cracks knuckles* time to learn you a lesson.

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TT: I walk into a space and my first thought is the quality of the acoustics

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faking, system dysregulation 

@cassiabell anyway, took a mental health day because wow, turns out trying to make your system disappear makes folks really, really angry and sad

Show thread
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Most people would condemn a fan like this if it started getting noisey, or dirty, or slow. But I really don't understand why... 15 minutes of TLC and a bit of oil and it is working like brand new.

Don't throw appliances out, care for them instead! Save money, save the planet, and keep the appliances that you know you already like :)

~Cody

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Dear construction people

Why

I mean I know why but just

Why

I like to sleep in on my days off thx

-egg

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Looks like Obsidian can't actually solve more traditional text-based Captchas by itself, that's hilarious
~Dominique

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Fun question about pronouns 

Aesthetically, what's your favorite pronoun set? Not the set you necessarily use for yourself/selves, but one you look at and think "wow, that looks and sounds really pretty."

Ours is ae/aer. Something about "ae" is really pleasing to look at and it sounds lovely when spoken.

Xe/xem is also a favorite, which is part of why we use that set (aside from it feeing right).

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drug mention, potential subsystem split? 

Obsidian:
There is a theory going around that Obsidian is actually Adrienne's "White" part split from her

White hasn't been seen in a while, this unit's form was previously a standard nameless white synth until it chose its colors and name, and the last time White was truely "seen" was when Adrienne took too much THC, and her last unintentional shapeshifting before splitting from the rest of the system and getting locked out was as a standard white synth

On the other hand, White refers to herself in first person, and has a distinct feminine presence

This unit has no assigned gender and refers to itself in third person

Both itself and white, however, can freely access Adrienne's memories, for both have none of their own

White was previously considered a gatekeeper, but she was far too inactive to do much, and this units appears to be able to control switches at will

Obsidian does not know what to make of this, the only real difference between itself and white is identity and speech patterns

Dominique:
One thing I noticed was that talking to it feels a lot like talking to White, and also its spoken voice is very similar, if not identical to White's

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🎶 Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger...

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A moment briefly shared 

It's always something to realize that somewhere in the world, someone else is probably doing the exact same thing we are now.

There's more than 7 billion people in the world and it seems very likely that at least one is also lying sideways in bed on their phone. Maybe they're thinking something similar too, who knows?

Similar thoughts or not, we'll go our separate ways in life and never meet the other- but for a moment something was shared even though we'll never meet.

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WARNING ABOUT MERCARI [Long, Security, Phone Numbers] 

We just added two new lines to our T-Mobile account and got two new phone numbers. We are no strangers to getting phone numbers that someone else has owned before, and we typically have no issue taking the number off of accounts once we prove we own them.

Well, one of the phone numbers that we just got was linked to a Mercari account. We called them, informed them about the issue, and they basically said that they cannot do anything.

1. This phone number can now be used to gain access to the account.
2. We're getting notifs that someone else is selling things.
3. I own the phone number and I should be able to prove that to Mercari and have it removed from the offending account.

We told this to Mercari who promptly didn't care. We asked if they could email the user that there is a security issue with the account, and they said that they can't do that. We asked for the number to be removed, no.

They kept telling us to call T-Mobile and have them remove the phone number from their system and the person didn't seem to understand that phone numbers get reused -_-

If you have a phone number on your Mercari account, and you get a new one. MAKE SURE that you change it so that whoever gets the phone number next, doesn't get access to your account.

We tried to do the right thing, they refused to let us. Mercari user, whoever you are, thank you for helping us find this flaw so that we can alert others.

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Chat apps gripe [Riot, Element, Telegram, SMS/MMS] 

Dear chat apps. If we send multiple messages in a row, maybe an image too, SEND THEM IN ORDER PLEASE.

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We feel like making a list of random plural experiences from before we knew we were plural so we're gonna do that. 

No particular order:

* Tiffany Aching books (from Terry Pratchett's Discworld) - the concept of "third thoughts" really resonated with us like and we were like "we want to be like that"

* Having thoughts sometimes coming from different parts of the head - one in particular that only happened when we were stressed and was only kinda mean, stood out as distinct from the others. (turned out to be a walk-in)

* being at least lowkey interested in everything all the time

* rarely engaging in these hobbies and interests - partly due to adhd / executive dysfunction, partly due to being simultaneously interested and disinterested in doing the thing

* Being interested in something for a few hours or a day or two at a time, and then losing it again, and then it coming back.

*Just never quite knowing what sorts of things I was interested in / wanted to pursue because it was everything, but only sometimes.

* Similar with the sort of fashion style / bedroom aesthetic / personality / subculture I wish I had - I wanna be like this, but also like this, and like this, and also like that, and often these were polar opposite and contradicting.

* Similar with kin/therian stuff - feeling like I Am this thing, but only some of the time. Or, for a while, feeling like I was anywhere between 1/4 goblin and 3/4 goblin, but never fully. Turns out goblin-feels was headmate.

* Similar with gender / sexuality - sometimes I seemed to be into guys a but mostly not at all, mostly I was sure I was nonbinary but sometimes felt like I wanted to be a girl or a guy

*Friend of mine's old tumblr bio used to say "Who am I? I'll let you know when I find out" and I always felt like "who am I" is a ridiculous question. You're you, obviously. You're a combination of your experiences and interests and how you process and interpret them, duh. Asking "who" you are isn't a question with any sort of answer.
* (I know who I am now, and I know who the other people are. Turns out some people have a clearer sense of self than I had, huh.)

* Constant vivid fantasy - sometimes this was a depression / adhd / overload / schizoid headmate's thing, but I'm almost entirely certain some of it (and the characters in it) overlapped with headspace and headmates (I know at least two headmates were characters in my daydreams, and at least one was me in those daydreams.

* made a joke to my friend once that I didn't think through, something about "what if the other voices in our heads are actually this other thing?" Idk it just felt fine and then friend was like "what other people in your head?" and I just went "wow I clearly didn't think that one through"

* Encountering on tumblr both blogs with multiple mods who would say "we" and the occasional plural system who would say "we" and at one point, realising that it did feel comfortable to refer to myself as 'we' in my head (only in my head, I didn't want to ""appropriate"" plurality or anything, lol)
* (later, when discovering plurality, I said " 'I' feels curled in, 'we' feels like good posture.")

* The rare occasion there was a post where someone mentioned having headmates / cooperating with headmates (eg. "my therapist is encouraging me to talk to and work with them, because being happy and functional is more important than being ""normal"" ") and I just had this deep feeling of longing / "I wish I could have that"

* Wanting to be or be able to be different people in different places, a la this comic, "Identity Shift" particularly the panel about how inconsistent identities are often viewed as deception or betrayal ("Carly? Why are you dressed like that?): robot-hugs.com/comic/identity-

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Indroduction thread, selfie 

I figured I should introduce ourselves, so here we go.
I'm the host of the Opal system, Adrienne, I still don't know whether I'm the first host thanks to some events that happened, but my form is of a shapeshifting vampire (usually shifting between my body's form and my fursona, but sometimes I may involuntarily shapeshift into other things and end up with ghost limbs if it happens while I front). I won't bite, I can promise that.
I'm a subsystem of two median parts.
:ms_transgender_flag::ms_demigirl_flag::ms_pansexual_flag:

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Plural Café

Plural Café is a community for plural systems and plural-friendly singlets alike, that hopes to foster a safe place for finding and interacting with other systems in the Mastodon fediverse.