Barkeep @Barkeep@plural.cafe

having alters who dont front much and change forms often is like:
*steals fictional appearance* *steals fictional appearance* *steals fictional appe-i

I'm girl today and that's perfectly okay!

i never thought i'd find myself here. But i guess im tired of singlets, as y'all call them. I dont rly know the terms, ive used my own my whole life, kinda purposefully avoided this community for a long time. But it's time, i need somewhere i can talk about this. After trying to with my singlet girlfriend and that going mediocre i just have nowhere else to turn. And therapy has never been all that constructive for my system. So hey there. I'm Luna Fay, a system of 5. Our sense of self is a little fucky wucky. Luna never got much of a fair shot to become her own person. Always had to rely on the system. So we kinda all feel connected under the name but at the same time are our own people. Shit. Rambling bout this makes me feel wildly vulnerable. Gonna go now. This was quite a wild introduction. But when is that not that case. I hope i can get comfy here. I could use the solidarity.

#introduction hi! we’re a median system. we’re new here and to the fediverse in general, and to knowing about plurality too tbh — well that’s why i’ve chosen this instance

i’m kinda trying to be anonymous here, so the username is what i’ve just come up with: median + antarctica. i like antarctica’s vibes and playing with words. we haven’t had a system name yet, so this could be it? i also want a shorter nickname but i can’t think of anything rn

anyway i’m also interested in programming, art, writing, cursing at apps i dislike, maybe sewing and languages, so i’ll be tooting about these kinds of things, and plural experience too ofc

we’ll make an avatar, a header and some kind of a system introduction later... idk what else to say. i’m a bit negatively biased because i strongly dislike cafés, each one i’ve been to was loud and obscure. i hope this goes better than going to a café 🥺

despite the things that made me feel bad today, some things also made me feel good:
(I = someone in our system, this is a collaborative post bc front has been really varied today)

- Ellie gave me leftover food! triangle nacho looking things with avocadoy dip and weird creamy dip and tomatoy dip. tasted super good and I wanna ask her what that was called
- I asked a person for a beta key to their chat client and they gave it to me, AND I talked a little about webhooks & bot development that made me feel proud of how far ive come (2 years ago I didnt know a lot of things I know now).
- I asked a content creator about un censoring swears in his subtitles, and even if he doesnt do it, I was brave
- I got a commission I paid for! its an icon for our sidesystem to use as a pfp and its very pretty
- I talked a bit with pals and variety who I dont often talk to, which was great
- we played vrchat and had lots of fun with chroma and juggs, they taught me how to use the elevator in the convention center world (which i was too embarrassed to ask about) , and I got to spend a bit of time with pewter and belial too

and like. thats a lot of good in one day! not even all the good, I probably forgot a lot! every day has lots of good in it, I just struggle to remember and get overwhelmed. and thats ok, recovery is a process :)

i got a new pinafore from Dangerfield today look at its pattern

1. Put brain in bowl.
2. Shake it like it's one of those ice cream making balls.
3. Profit?

E: been wading through the cis fetish scene and it was a weird experience that I felt so hurt by non-binary erasure, I mean I care about my enby loves ofc and feel downright violent that people exclude them, but it hit different; it felt individual, not just anger but individual hurt, as if I'm enby myself, which I'm very much not.

Then I remembered I actually am, I mean not me, but people who are also me are enbies, and I experience their feelings like from the inside. I still feel weird about this, like, it's not right for me to claim non-binary identity cos enbies are just too cool and how can I just go and be one when my binary feelings are so absolute and I get all the binarist privilege, plus is it even _legal_ to be simultaneously binary _and_ nonbinary? I'm ruining the binary/non-binary binary

R: nonetheless we're here and our feelings are there no matter if you can rationalise them or not o/ and fwiw yup, cis-ass fetish thing sucked

Reh! Re---

Error. Reh cartridge jammed. Please remove jam and reboot kobl.

todays gender is reverance for the celebration of bodies

sometimes we struggle with community being plural because it feels like a lot of plural discussion is based on the concepts of plurality and are solely about the state of being plural, but we want to be able to just talk about anything in the CONTEXT to our plurality. like about a relatable feeling, but only as it exists being felt by this one alter, or a funny meme that was made, but only because one alter made it about another.

so either our opinions and talks feel out of place in plural discussion spaces or they feel out of place in the general singlet sphere

it reminds me how a lot of trans representation was in media where their trans identity was the plot. like i think i just want these things normalized

I love how cross-cultural visual art can be. I don't even have to share a language with someone to be able to appreciate their art.

We used to say "Cats are just tiny fluffy dragons" but frankly? I'm of the opinion that housecats are just feline kobolds.

R: side shave continues to be the haircut of choice when you have the kind of duality that me and E. have going on 😌

That moment when you reach for a word that is absolutely in your vocabulary *somewhere* but is currently completely MIA is incredibly frustrating.

We're that thing in the shadows of a chat room that pops out once in a blue moon, has a whole conversation about something oddly specific and significant, and then vanishes until the cycle repeats.

Werelurkers?

is there a good android app for like. reminders of meds based on when you last took other meds or when you announce going to bed, instead of on a rigorous schedule?

our sleep schedule is kinda fluid and like. we have a set of "morning" meds that sometimes we'll be taking at like 16:00 or 20:00

and then another that's spaced out from that, and another spaced out from that. is it possible to just say "I've taken my meds, now remind me in 2 hours to take a fiber supplement" or whatever?

"if im right you owe me $5" but its in the same bank account

R: the Razor Blade Collective for lgbt+ umbanda, was so cool talking to them
R: also pensarMacumba's position on Zélio, whitewashing, Christianity, pombagira
R: even though we are internally so sure of our read of umbanda. even though we have faith
R: it still feels like kind of a relief to talk to other folk who see it this way, are engaged in the same kind of work

C: you just need community. everybody does.

R: right, I guess that's what we're getting at with the insistence of wearing the r-word, on being not just spiritual but religious
R: (also annoyance that coloniser religions are the only ones thought of as "religions")
R: honestly I wish I could claim "religious but not spiritual" out of pure spite lol
R: but alas, we are also spiritual 😌

E: that's one way of putting it hihihi
E: air's getting thick over here
E: there's almost as high a number of spirits visiting this house as the amount of girlfriends

Am just a lil' kobold, doin my best.